It's been 6 years since I’ve known him.
6 years of blood and lust and longing.
It’s been 4 years since I've loved him.
4 years of vows and kisses and touches.
It’s been 2 weeks since I'd promised him.
2 weeks of lists and readying and preparation.
And it was 3 days since I found him.
3 days of torment and loneliness
And betrayal.
We swore the march would play for us together
I'll do if you do.
Breathe in. And out.
Just one more.
Fingers.Heart.Eyes.
One step forward.
One step back.
One step closer to the edge.
Curls and rolls of torrent.
Dancing blood-water.
Toiling twirls. Rushes.
Imperfect reflection more than distorted.
Mirrored everything hated.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Shake.Shiver.Sit.
Just an 8foot drop.
And a watery stop.
To wash the pain away.
No more fights.
Just calm blankness
No more lies.
Pure brutal blankness
No more mother.
Brutal numbness.
No more tears.
Perfect numbness.
It’s been 20minutes since I saw you.
20minutes of admiration.
It’s been 10minutes since I talked to you.
10minutes of wondering.
It’s been 2minutes since I decided about you.
2minutes of steadying.
Its 30 seconds since I touched you.
30seconds of pressure.
He couldn’t do it in harmony.
He couldn’t do it with me.
Breathe in. Scream out.
Silenced with clenching fingers.
Gasp.Forget.Give-up.
Weak human handcuffs on the wrist
Weaker at her touch.
Dragged from salvation,
Kicking, screaming from the side
Rip me, ravage me.
Tear away my heart.
And then I was not alone.
Skin.Shoulders.Sin.
Riverwater streaming down my face
Running, flowing,
Her in close pursuit.
Closer. Closer.
Ready to fight.
Ready for flight.
Pushed me back against the alley wall
Colliding to her door.
I’ll do if you do.
I whisper in your ear.
Clawing at his skin
Decimating his clothes
Time goes too quickly
As on the bed we fall
Crashing together, breathing as one
Ready with the pill shaped bullets.
We indulge in one final act of love.
Love for one now lost.
In his arms I’m safe
In her arms I’m sane
In his eyes I’m sick
In her eyes I’m scared.
Pop the pills together.
Welcoming no-tomorrow.
There will be controversy.
There will be the rumours
But we will never see them
For tonight, we sink asleep.
And pretend to be in love.
Author notes
For a contest, and I'm writing from half experience. I've been there, by the bridge, watching, climbing, readying, and it would've been so much easier to jump if someone jumped with me. So, i guess that's the story it tells, because re-reading it, it looks a bit confusing. at least for me anyhow. And i know it's probably far too long, and it's not very good. But it's all that I've got.
A contest entry
- Suicide Revelations by SchizoChic.
850 points, ended April 16, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Bleeding-breathing- it out
Comments
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I usually hate long poems, usually there's too much baggage information.
But this. This was damn good!
I love the whole time aspect, and the way you use short sharp phrases to make the pace move faster. Brilliant!
Goodluck in the contest girly, not as if you'll need it though.
Loves yous!
xxx
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Wow. Best of luck.
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