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Sleepless

A place
where classics are formed
No tell alls
The kind of atmospheric
presence
that's causing you
to toss and turn
the nights away...

...on a sleepless moon 

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Perception
    April 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... Very interesting....

    Thanks for entering...
    and good luck


  • notorious
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "A place where classics are formed" Ooh...so a place where old fogeys gather?

    "The kind of atmospheric presence causing you to toss and turn"

    -the 'that's' should be removed.

    I will teach you how to use the ellipsis the standard way (it's not wrong the way you and many other people do it...but): in poetry, the ellipsis COULD be used ... blah blahblah

    So, basically a space before and after you use the ellipsis.