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Purely Devoured

Fronds of the ephemeral
Buried beneath the pure
With birth of spring

Author notes

Haiku, I am not actually familiar with nor confident of the other forms.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • trista gold member
    April 26, 2008

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    I love some of the words you've chosen, though I would like to see some stronger imagery within your 'Ku. Take a look at some of the more modern Haiku being written if you aren't familar with it, and I think you'll be surprised by how many of your words aren't actually necessary in this. Remember ~ the fewer words you are using, the more you have to make each one count. "of" and "the" take up a full quarter of your write and don't contribute to the imagery. But Kudos for entering what I actually consider the toughest of all the forms you could pick from!

    Thanks so much for your entry, and good luck.

    Best wishes,
    ~J.


  • Arkbear gold member
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hi Poet :)

    Great word choice....yet not sure about the Capping of each line in such a short write....but it does work :)

     

    Loved the Title........the best to you and your entry,

     

    ...God bless you,

     

    Bear ~