looking around
seeing all the successful people
as well as those
who haven't done thier best
i see the happiness
and the lonliness too
i can see the miserable
the ones who haven't passed the "test"
the test that religions
have put forth
saying that if you pass
you'll live in eternal bliss
but how long does eternity even last
who are we to decide how long
or how short
this "forever" is
most people say that
it all started
with adam
and with eve
but eternity means there is no ending
nor is there a "beginning"
so this contradics
what most religions believe
What i'm trying to say is really this
no matter how successful people are
they can still live in some kind of bliss...
Author notes
this was a completely random poem... i hope you like it!
A contest entry
- Poetic Challenge Group... ONLY!!! by luckynsincere.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Nova can't last; Just like love can't be real. by PaintedParisPassion.
700 points, ended May 13, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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lol, this does come off as very random, its nice and i love the thoughts you express in this. I'm not sure if i'd consider it a poem, but I didnt write it, you did. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
-B -
Thanks for your entry. Bear is right... this is not so much a poem, but a statement. A well put together statment! I love seeing a personal side to the poets in our challenge... opening up is always a great choice. Nice work, and thanks for sharing.
Mel
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it may have been entirely random but I do agree with some of the things you said and I love the way you just came out and said what you though instead of dancing round the subject. I really like the layout
a great write
good luck in the contest
-
Hi Jack :)
I like the way you made this into more of a personal message, and one of self-evidence ~
This is really not a poem, yet a statement of choice, and that is not a bad thing, as this is only a contest to grab our attention and show us what you are made of inside ~
I enjoy it when a Poet lets loose.....they are placing themselves in a vulnerable position and they are ready to be praised, or mocked.....that is a brave thing to do ~
I am not sure I can agree with most of your thoughts, but I do appreciate them as an individual :)
I do believe Religions are a test.....and that is why I believe in Faith, not religious protocols ~
I believe in my Higher Power, God, the most high God and His Son, Jesus Christ.....as this allows me the opportunity to spread my wings and fly anyhere I wish, without being held down by the sect of denominations or Religions ~
....and eternity is not how long WE think it is.....yet the length is determined by how long you can stand to be where you wind up :)
Loved the format.....your Flow is nicely carved out.....your Lasting Impression is one I shall take with me....so good job on that ~
Each line you have penned is a testament to your strength in seeking your Higher Power....I only hope you have found a good one, before the *real* one shows up and you realise you have made a serious mistake in choices :)
Well done....I absolutley loved your honesty and openness here.....good luck!
Bear ~
98.35
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Very nice random thoughts A wonderful little piece. Good luck in the contest
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