Sparse studs of silver luminosity
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voyage black velvet at velocity
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* gifting mankind a curiosity
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of night’s eternal actuosity
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Author notes
Actuosity means abundant activity.
In a list
A contest entry
- Mysteries of the Universe by enitsirhC.
555 points, ended July 2, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is just gorgeous. I love how you formatted this to look like outer space with the asterisks to represent stars. Such a great concept and what power packed into a few short lines. And I learned a new word into the bargain (actuoisty) :-)
This is really genius the way you styled this. I can see it won a trophy, congratulations, personally I think it should have won a gold. I loved it! Thanks. -
I absolutely loved the way it's so spaced and it feels like you're looking into the night sky. That is so very creative and gives a sense of awe to the whole piece. I'm not, however, really a fan of the verses themselves. The rhyming seemed very forced and somewhat random. Maybe it's because actuosity is a weird word, I don't know. But it was good, solid, and I'll give it a B overall.
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This is really good!
I love the layout of it, and the diction is absolutely beautiful
Good luck in my contest! -
A FINE & UNIVERSAL PIECE, INDEED!
If at first you don's succeed - try, try, try again - I always say - as I've been trying to leave a comment on this wonderful, short, sweet, and thought provoking piece! I liked the form, flow, form, background, and entire presentation of this cosmic piece - and Thank You 'SO MUCH' for sharing it with me, my friend! So much was said - magically and musically - in just four well chosen lines.
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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Your thoughts were definitely out among the stars when you wrote this, I commend you for the words and the format, both used to the best of their effect.
Thanks also for the English lesson
All the best...Sue
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Very very good this-background finished it off well-and lots of new words learnt too!!!
xxx Hilly
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Star studded
I have learned a starred new word today that even some dictionaries ignore ...before I scrolled down to the notes I looked it up in three places before landing on the right planet.
It has very recently been posited that the big bang was preceeded by another ...in other words that the present universe, when it implodes, will catalyze an equivalent explosion ensuring the cycle starts again with the corresponding physical qualities ... that does not however guarantee anoother brave new world
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That's a very original format, m'lady. Creative, too. I love it.
Leave it to you to catch my interest when nothing else can. Brilliant.
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I like how you made this piece... It really is a captivating piece.
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Lovely work my friend! I like how you formatted this to emphasise the vastness of space. Excellent!
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Nice.
I just love how you formated this.
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