I thought in politics to shine,
Westminster was my spirit's home,
The corridors of power seemed mine,
My name safe writ in history's tome.
My Leader bade me build a dome,
And it rose proud for all to see
More spacious than St. Peter's, Rome -
This was a useful thing for me!
Then one day, down in Notting Hill,
I saw a house I longed to own,
But when they proferred me the bill
My heart within me turned to stone,
But one good colleague heard my moan
And offered (a true friend was he!)
To make me the discreetest loan -
A very useful thing for me.
The news got out - the headlines raged,
Hurled imprecations on my head,
Their anger would not be assuaged,
The guilt, it seemed, I could not shed.
My Leader sent for me and said
I must resign, for that would be
(Now my career was killed stone-dead!)
The only useful thing for me!
But public memory is short!
In Kosovo the skies turned black,
And eager for each war report
Press interest in me grew slack,
And so my Leader called me back
To sort out Ireland's tragedy,
So...Once more, up the ladder, Jack!
- I'm such a useful chap, you see.
Again like Lucifer I fell...
It seems my heart was much too kind!
A friend required a passport - well,
How could I guess that people'd mind?
And so my ship of state was tyned,
And forms marked "45" and "P"
Were all it seemed that fate could find
For such a useful chap as me!
But no! For I had learned the worth
Of running at my Leader's shout.
So though a while I lived in dearth
Soon fortune took a turnabout,
And in the City of the Sprout
I found new opportunity;:
A very useful post, no doubt -
Commissioner at the EC!
In time, back home, the Leader changed.
And though banks tottered far and wide,
Rescue, it seemed, could be arranged
With me at the new Leader's side.
This urging could not be denied,
So, raised to higher dignity,
Commons, behold me in my pride!
A very useful PEER - that's me!
Gold trophy winner
Adding your comment:
