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Toxicity

Missing image

Silver tongues whisper honeyed degradations;

collapsed lungs spewing scarlet venom from stoic flesh,

as gaping holes are torn into weakened hearts,

disembowelment of this wretched shell.

 

My saviour never died upon a cross,

but crucified me upon my own imperfections,  

and sorrow-seared skin succumbed to razorblade

kisses, cannibalizing my soul in sedated affection.

 

Fear finally cradles me in her arms, addiction screaming

meaningless prayers for the friend I never had.

 

Author notes

Prompt: "When your best friend becomes your enemy."

Based on a subplot to my novel, possibly a self-harmer's thoughts, mistaking the blade for a 'friend', even though the pain controls them, not the other way around.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 42 of 42

  • sticksnstones
    September 4
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    i love this.

  • paw-writer silver member
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    So much pain woven is through this poem. You did an amazing job with this write. Thanks so much for entering my contest. blessings, Patty


  • l33t-n1nj4
    August 13
    Edit | Reply
    wowza lol amazing imagery I love it good job

  • papercutangel86
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was wonderful I am adding you to the finalist list thanks so much for entering it

    ~*~*~Donnia~*~*~


  • Meroza gold member
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    mmh...It do give me the dark feeling I am looking for, and it does make my heart beat a little bit faster.
    I must admit this is rather...amazing. I would never thought that it would pull off but you did it, in a fantastic way!

    Congrats on all the shinyes, they are well deserved


  • Vaquerita
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    I like your views on christ.

  • Sailor Ptolema silver member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    nice to see this in Christie's contest . I always love reading this.


    -Pt

  • hiraeth
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    I love diction that isn't the typical "he loves me / he cheated / i am sad" shit that litters this site, but this was an overload. It felt incredibly artificial, like you used a thesaurus for everything. Lay off the thesaurus unless absolutely necessary, really; I only use one because English is not my only language and I forget words often. Too much contrived, "trying to be beautiful" writing chokes a poem, if that makes sense.

    "My saviour never died upon a cross,
    but crucified me upon my own imperfections"
    I really like these lines, though. Ta for the entry!

    -hiraeth

  • PhantomsAngel87 Greeters member
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    Wow


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    Holy $#%&!!!
    Well I can certainly see why this won so many trophies. A friend sent me here, claiming that I'd like it. I loved it!

    Amazing use of alliteration and imagery. Stunning diction. I am definitely more than impressed.

    At the end of this month I'm holding a large contest, to celebrate my 5 year anniversary as a member of this site. I would love for you to enter (a new poem). I think you'll find the options agreeable.

    The picture is awesome, by the way. I'd love to read the novel, as well. It did seem like a self-harmer's thoughts to me. In fact, it seemed like my thoughts.

    Just gorgeous.


  • Harmonious Jade gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply

    Unlikely Assassin

    This poem speaks to me in a very special way, as who better to kill you than someone that knows you so well! The hurt from such a deed goes much farther than the norm, as no doubt it is in the back, twisting away at once laid trust and confidence. It goes without saying that the verbiage of this write is outstanding without losing flavor. Just a great poem! Bravo!

  • LimelightLiason
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    holy crap hun, i got a few shivers when i read this. this was just right in my face with some gory details, which i normall don't care for, but you illustrated them in a way that pulled me in and made me want to read more and more. im going to shop this poem around to some more of my friends if thats cool with you, this write really needs to be read by more people.
    great write, never stop
    Rob

  • Chrysalis
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    You've bagged every trophy in every contest. That was the first thing I saw but then after reading it... I was shocked no more!
    blessed be
    ♥Blanche

  • StroonsGreen
    June 21

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa. Intense

    Fake friends suck... I think if you changed the title to incorporate the idea of friends it would better prepare the reader, like maybe "Toxic Company"
    Besides that, I lovedd the words you used, liek "cannibilize", "collapsed lungs", "stoic flesh", etc. Congrats on all ur trophies!! : )


  • Midnight-x-Rose
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    It's always a tragedy when those who meant so much to us are the ones who bring our downfall. It is said and it is true, that a friend who turns into an enemy is harder to deal with than an enemy that turns into a friend. For your friend has learnt things about you and can bring you down in many ways.

  • DrowningLessons
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    great hold on language ,
    you make what you have to say very clear
  • pithyaplomb
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    As dark as I've ever felt!! n yoyr a finalist!

  • stig
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    very very very good poem wish i could write this well i love the abstract images your words produce and wow so many awards won for it .x.


  • markgrif gold member
    June 2
    Edit | Reply
    It's beauty.

  • Amaranthine Lover silver member
    June 1
    Edit | Reply
    a well done, short and abstract piece!

  • Sailor Ptolema silver member
    May 31
    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!

    this is the second time I've read and commented on this...its an even better read the second time around!
    you darkwrite abilities humble me
    its just spitting with rage...I can feel it hitting me as I read...I'm adding this to my favorite poems list


  • GOREgous666
    May 30
    Edit | Reply
    ooo, pretty scary and dark....Thank you for entering -GOREgous Gore
  • Everse
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    gripping. Anything else I say would just be self defeating ramble.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply

    I could really relate to this poem!

    This represents a twisting bleeding time upon my life,
    basically all of 2006!
    my innervoice told me powerfully....
    toxic is your life...in that we can agree,
    it is time to leave!
    whew!
    with strength I knew not,
    I had!
    thankyou for writing this, it reminded me powerfully
    to not go back into the depths of depressions' hell.
    ears


  • peregrin
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Alrighty, it is official that I LOVE your poems. This is so well written, it was amazing! I reread it like 30 times, it is so good!


  • Pollycheck silver member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my short poems contest. You have crafted a very vivid image with your excellent use of words.

  • Sailor Ptolema silver member
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    woo. talk about deep rage and betrayal! very well done!

  • SuicidalLover gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wow there goddess. This deep, something I know a lot of people would understand. I wish you luck!
    ~Kystal Angel


  • I Am Gun
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    this is breathtaking the vocabulary in this is great i love this poem!!! and thats simply put

  • Pandorea
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is very gripping. your language is superb.

    thanks for entering.

  • Xlolita-massacreX
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is amazing. I love the wording. Great write. ^-^

    Thank you for entering


  • Forever in his arms
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is an exellent poem. I wish I had as many words in the dictionary of my brain as you do. I will tell you my savior died on a cross. But the way you described what you believe was absolutly breath taking


  • Roaddog Wolf gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    Very profound write excellent use of vocabulary and your penned this outside the box very unique penning Thank you for entering your poem and good luck in the contest


  • whispernthedark gold member
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    You chose wonderfuly strong words to describe the devastation being felt. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.

    ♥
    whisper

  • catie052 gold member
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    wow...great job. not one wasted word...and nothing seems to just be thrown in there. this whole poem as a lot of depth and is strong! just astounding!

  • Poetryintheblood
    April 19
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie

  • CarnalNineTailedFox
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    i flippin love this poem! omg! i just love every line! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! NineTailedFox

  • JackFellDown
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    Its an interesting piece, I can see why you chose to enter this one. Wording is awesome, I definently appreciate that the vocabulary used is not the same thing I see every day.
    "My saviour never died upon a cross,
    but crucified me upon my own imperfections"
    That line is pretty awesome. Picture, background, font, they add to the piece so im gonna say nice job. Good luck ~peace

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    I wont say that I love this piece it is a good pieve but it hits close to home for me thank you for sharing this with me best wishes and much love always


  • markgrif gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply



    I looooves it.

    *Doom Huggles*


  • PerfectImperfection
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Stunning presence and powerful imagery throughout!! Excellent take on the prompt - you went above and beyond here. Thank you for your entry!

  • luckynsincere gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    I think your poem is powerful and what a picture you selected. Perfect for that prompt. Why is there always such a thin line between love and hate? It takes very little to cross that line, yet if it is not crossed we would give our lives for those called our friends. Mysterious!!

    Well written.

    Mel

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