Desecrating luminous landscapes, pylons ply their trade
as made by planners, scammers,
hammers into ground once sound,
the ricochet spinning, twisting,
singing noisome like old metal doorknobs in a bath
with fog-horn voices, few choices
but to roll in estimation of the damage
as they revolve their tarnished mirrors and blow smoke-rings
for smoke-screens, we scream for release from the pettifogging,
smogging, slogging, flogging rules mismade,
misunderstood, misused yet fused
into legislation in our nation
where pylons desecrate the land.
A contest entry
- all poets love to roll words around in their mouth ~take 2~ by Star of Atlantis.
600 points, ended April 30, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Hey, I commented once before don't think I can improve on that.
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You are much older than I realised Heehee!
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Oh, no, my age is showing? Where? where?
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Such wonderful alliteration of your lines here. Your poetic device and word choice rocks!
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brother you said it! what a rich vocabulary you have. Must be wonderful to be literate. (and alliterate)
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Hey - and I thought I was illiterate, must use a dictionary more often LOL etc.
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Great alliteration and the theme one we know well here. This did roll off the tongue really well.
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Jaw-droppingly amazing.
You blew me away with the theme and metaphor and your imagery was just perfect! The alliteration was a perfect touch!
I'm in love with your work already.
~Cassie
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I thought I was on the wrong page when I read your such warm comments - so I read PYLONS again. Still think I am on the wrong page (haha) But thanks a millionski.
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Nope, you're not on the wrong page, this is your poem. Good work here.
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I really..
...like this Mr Duck.
It's acerbic but witty, with super alliteration.
Just as a matter of interest, how would YOU get electricity to the people? I'm sure there's a very good reason for the lines not being underground - though I wouldn't know what that reason was.
Robin.
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Thanks, Lola, this has made my day as I guess this is free-verse but I have pleased you with my internal rhymes. I guess that the Victorians/Edwardians didn't much bother about the landscape yet they had the cheap labour that could have piped the stuff underground.
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HOODWINKED !!!
What an image packed poem full of aliteration. Interesting selection of words to paint this word picture. Well Done.
You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today because WE CARE!
Dennis 
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Thanks so much for your warm comments as you hoodwink me.
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Very inventive, a great way to voice the discontent that is surely rising to fog horn pitch here, nicely done
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i like the twist at the end... reminds me to be careful when casting my votes. of course i try to be but who knows if the choice we as a country makes is the right choice... most often i think it isnt which is sad if you ask me. i have a poem called pylons too... its so different than your pylons but in some ways i see the same picture in my mind as the one my poem was written for. i think that is because we both attacked or pointed out the places we as humans screw up. yours is just a bit more direct than mine. i like the immagery i get with your poem i especially like the doorknobs in a bath ... i always wanted to make a windchime out of doorknobs... i even colected a bunch of old ones once to do just that but it didnt happen cause i moved and couldnt take them with me when i left. i think that they may still be in a box in my mom's gaurage. i can just see me turning that box over and letting them spill out and clank into an old claw foot cast iron tub.. how neet that would be.... beautiful sureal immages a bit like how the dream stuff is in the movie the cell... of course i see it happenening in slow motion and the clanking and bouncing all being a bit out of the normal sound making it all more interesting. thank you for the right.
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Nice symbolism.
Be Well
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