Just Thoughts

One day I tell you I love you
And then you turn against me

I take time
But I forgive
Although I'll never forget
I still can mentally relive it

And at times I can almost feel you
Almost love you again

And then I remember the hurt
How you lied about so many things
I was mixed up for a while
I questioned everything

About us
Why

Mainly why did we end up together?
Why did we think it would work?
Why did you turn on me?

Finally I grow to a point
where I hate you
I hate you with every fiber of my being
I yell and I curse
I plot, and plan

But all along we both knew
That everything I said about hating you
was just a lie

I can't hate you
Cause I did love you at one point

And now fate untangles our lives
we still cross now and again
As what's the phrase
That every one uses
Oh yeah just friends

And a part of me is happy about that
But another part wonders
What's wrong with me

And there just one more thing
You were right about
Try as I might to deny it
you made some points

And although you'll see this
Still I feel beter
I guess that why I write
Just to put my thoughts down on paper
Releases me, sets me free
Helps me to understand
Just why I feel and think
The way that I do

It may simply confuse every one else
but now I understand why I still remember
Those moments when you were so sweet
When you made my heart melt in your hand

And why I hurt when I see those scars
they're there because of no reason caused by me
But still they relate to us
You tried to cut yourself off
But you can't do that
No cut can run that deep

Still so attached
You clung to what was no longer there
then if fainally hit you
And when you opened your hand and let it go
you dropped me too

So finally I understan
And finally my rambuling comes to it's end
As now I'm freed
Now I understand
Now I'm just me