The broken flower,
of shattered hopes and withered dreams,
lying on the cold floor beside me.
Avoiding my eyes,
of the pink shivering petals,
I look for another life
to cling to in this barren world.
But it is no use,
I am the solitary soul
wandering with my broken flower
that no one wants to meet.
Author notes
It hurts being alone, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that.
A contest entry
- In The Soul by whatever666.
600 points, ended April 15, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all HM winners! by Cat10.
850 points, ended May 19, 2008, 39 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DARK by skilter.
350 points, ended August 15, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Misfortune's One-Year AP Anniversary Contest! {EXTENDED} by Misfortune.
750 points, ended August 26, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COME ONE! COME ALL! QUICKY FOR 200 PEOPLE! by Umi Juvariel.
800 points, ended January 21, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1583 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1087 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? How can I improve? What was your least favorite part? Your favorite?
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Astounding imagery, in so short a work - congratulations on all the previous trophies, they are well deserved.
Thanks for entering
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I did like the reference to clinging life, it made the character seem like a leech. At first, I thought this was about a Japanese legend, but it wasn't, oh well. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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Sad, But great write!
Keep the pen going.
Good luck and thanks for entering.
Tash
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Sad but relatable, nice piece.
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so sad and very pretty.
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great metaphors and deep feelings well penned WTG good luck in the contest
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short.....but so powerful...thank you for entering and best of luck!
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i really liked the feeling in this, its a beautiful write
best of lucks
mlg
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ohhh great job.
i loved the simplicity of this yet the impact with so little words.
=) thanks for entering my conest & good luc -
very well written, and describes the wandering subject well.
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great flow and form,thanks for entering.
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the words are powerful enough to make others feel the crystallised pain of solitude and loneliness ....
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Good flow and imagery. Sadness in it beng alone. Best to you in the contest.
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nice poem!Sooooo sad though!Thnx 4 entering!!!~
signed confused
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Sad, powerful, and full of the self conviction of giving up. All to close to reality for some. Nice work on capturing that feeling.
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Sad, and poweful. I really liked this, it has great imagery. Thanks for entering my contest. Leila xx
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thank you for entering! this is a very poewerful piece! great job on everything! and good luck in the contest!
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This really is sad. Great imagery.
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Nice imagery and metaphore. So sad though
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Simply sad....love it! Thanks for your entry and the best of luck to you!
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This is sooooo pretty! I like it. i love the way you make it flow! Thanks for entering my contest
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a nice poem! great job! and good luck in all of your contests!
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this is great
i think its great i can relate to every thing from the shattered hopes to no one want to meet. thank you for your awesome write. -
Very nice. I like how you played in nature with sadness, it was really good. I liked it all! Well written! But I hope that this is not a personal experience for you, that would just be awful. Best to ya!!!
Emma ^_^
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Sorry Dear Heart!
You are so precious, and worthy...
I pray that you give time its blessing...
Because I know that it will give you the honor and opportunity...
As I know that love is awaiting you...
To walk with you, through your days...
Peace be with you dear heart!
~ James ~
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