Pulling up her ankle socks,
Attempting to stretch knee high,
Buttering bread with a spoon,
Jumping off the stairs to fly.
A darling little sweet pea,
Learning tips and tricks of life,
Thinking boys have all the cooties,
Such thing as strife.
Thinking babies come from space,
And kissing is really yucky,
Her world only evolves around,
her doll and yellow ducky.
Doesn’t imagine age 15,
The existence of sex and drugs,
As soon as her mother tries to teach,
She soon tries to pull the plug.
This sweet darling angel,
Lives in her world of rainbows,
Heartbreak, Boys and Pressure,
She’s lucky to not yet know.
Author notes
I thought I'd have a go!!I don't know if it is any good but I just thought I'd try and see what the good/bad points are of my writing!
A contest entry
- Innocence by just-an-amateur.
700 points, ended April 20, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Peer Pressure Contest!! You decide the trophy winners!! by Zenda-Lokki.
1700 points, ended January 7, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your favourite part?What could be done to make it better?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Very nice poem about innocence! I feel that most kids are trying to grow up too fast. Anyways, lovely write you've got here.
-
Very nice poem about innocence! I feel that most kids are trying to grow up too fast. Anyways, lovely write you've got here.
-
Ah, so true X) I love this
-
Really, really good, you are a very good descriptive poet and your portrayal of innocence is so well done, I think you're a marvelous poet.
-
Aawww the innocence of childhood x Great write xx
-
Aww this is so sweet. My dad really misses those days now that I'm all grown up Great job!
-
Thinking boys all have the cooties, can't imagine being a wife?
Thanks for hosting oreos. I'm sure this little girl loves 'em, too.
-
Totally cute
This is a really nice poem. It's interesting how people in each stage of life look back and feel that the younger are lucky to be that young.
"She’s lucky to not yet know."
This line applies to you to darlin'. Take your time as well. Trust me, you don't want to be in a hurry for the realities of the adult world. I am sorry that you have already had to experience one, as I think I understand what happen to you. Know that it goes both ways. I didn't give myself over to a girl until I was 20, but she broke my heart just the same as that boy did to you. It'll get better, God always takes care of us.
-Jeremy-
-
yesss this one shouts innocence : D
well done!
-
i love this poem and the way you say so much about the little girl so sweet and innocent, and then how she grows up into a teenager with other things on her mind, its hard to be a teenager, i know i've been there, congratulations on the silver in this contest,
Keep up the writing
ɛiɜ ~Amy -
nice poem, not an easy prompt well done
-
amazing.. keep it up xx
-
Thankyou for your suggestion and awarding me with a silver, I shall change it since you know what your looking for thankyou!Im 15 soon - so yes I know the feelings too
-
I would make a suggestion about line 8. Maybe such a thing as strife? Not sure but that sounded just a little bit awkward when I read it for the first time. Just a possibility. But I liked your honesty here and the sweetness of the description of this girl. I'm 15 and I know the pressures that there are. It's like you're being bombarded every single day. It sounds like this girl has you though so she's set. Thank you for the reminder of the sweetness that lies buried in all of us if we're only willing to take a trip on a rainbow every one and a while.
~M~
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
