You sit and stare at me
with your cold, conniving eyes
have you not realized I can see through you?
Your eyes are the window to your soul
and the closet to your hidden secrets..
Yes i know-
I know about it all
My Pen is the barrel to my gun
remind me again-
Again which side you should be on
Your glass face is starting to crack,
splintering down the line of symetry
My friend,
you should have known this day would come
For long ago,
I told you so.
Do you need reminded of this?
My Pen is the barrel to my gun
which side are you on
Author notes
haha...yea, im just starting to write again. its been a while
Comments
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that's good... Is it about betrayal?
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I like how Pen is capitalized. It lends it power. You also get the message of caution and distrust across by repeating that you have a weapon (a threat), and repeating your question "which side are you on".
I'm wondering, in line 11, you chose 'glass' as an adjective. Is that because is suggests transparency? Or fragility? Maybe both, in any case, I like =D It doesn't really take away from the poem, but "symetry" is spelt symmetry, and line 16 should probably be "Do you need (to be) reminded of this?"
Your words are bullets, so you've got plenty of ammunition for the fight ahead.
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Thanks
Thank you for all of the constructive criticism. I can always use every ounce of it that I can get. And yes when I said glass, it was it described transparency and fragility. wow, you really understood what I was saying with this one.
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