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A word

 

Do you crack the old
dry twig of language
just to feel a moment's
shock streak through hands
along bones membranes and
small raised hairs

Do you bend old yellow
rules of syntax until it frays
just to see paint crackle as
splinters rise against mind
revealing plywood layers of
a moment's understanding

Do you have one idea
what you're doing as you
play with words saying all
the same old things but
with broken verbs that
hang from splintered nouns

 

 

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • crimson-river
    2 hours ago
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    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO

    haha.
    Interesting questions to pose. I like questions, but more so like them when they are given just one likelihood of the answer. This poem, though, is fine without that.
    I know that when you're in a hurry to put down what's on your mind, it's hard to find room or time for grammar. I do it myself. Your poem is OK without the question marks and what not, but it would be nice to throw in a couple commas to accentuate certain parts of your question.

    My favorite stanza was:

    Do you have one idea
    what you're doing as you
    play with words saying all
    the same old things but
    with broken verbs that
    hang from splintered nouns

    This was a great way to end the poem. I got a sense of humor in it and it all made sense.

    . Rewarded 8

  • traveon100
    June 24
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    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This poem really makes me think. It is so amazing how you piece these words together to make such a unique poem. Keep it up and keep on writing!!!

    • Zahhar gold member
      June 25
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Great! I'm glad it makes you think. What'd it make you think on?
      • traveon100
        June 25
        ?
        Edit | Reply
        it makes me think about words and how they are powerful and important it also made me think about english and grammer rules lol my teacher would love that

        • Zahhar gold member
          June 25
          ?
          Edit | Reply
          Ah! Well if you find you'd like to share this poem with your teacher, feel free. Just come back and report on what she said.

  • arpine1995
    June 19
    Edit | Reply

    ?

    Very unique. But very nice.

  • Very Unique!

    And yes, thought-provoking as well. I love it! This li'l clever poem is worth its weight in gold!! I love your chosen background here also. Great imagery and outstanding metaphoric surrealism lend an awesome, yet calming air of mysterious charm. Your poem, "A Word" is certainly one of the best I've seen on AP, and I wish you all the best. Write on, shine on, Poet!!! Peace, Cyn

    . Rewarded 8


  • Lsh-x
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this piece is very different, yet, i like it.
    Very impressive in only a few lines!
    Well done,
    you did well.

    Laura <3

    . Rewarded 4


  • Bean Sidhe
    May 19

    Edit | Reply

    Phenomenal.

    I wasn't sure what I was getting into when I read the first stanza but was completely enthralled by the second. And the last line is genius: "with broken verbs that hang from splintered nouns" - I can simply visual that - very impressive accomplishment in eighteen lines of poetry.

    . Rewarded 6

  • wow the waqy u write is awesome i like the choice of words and imagery.
  • Most enjoyable

    I always have enjoyed your study and use of words, and often thought that I should strive to be more technical so that I might rise toward your level. This made me think that again, as it rewarded me with not only pleasure at reading but also an admonishment throughout that reading.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Kram
    May 3

    Edit | Reply

    breathless

    I could read it breathless ,each stanza shine like gems
    ..its really wonderful ...keep on writing

    . Rewarded 4


  • redteacup
    May 1
    Edit | Reply
    No, I don't have any idea what I'm doing, but I know that you play with all of this beautifully, and your words make me think, and there's little more I could ask for from a writer.
  • allaboutyou
    April 29
    Edit | Reply

    great poem

    This a very good poem, I like it very much. Keep up the good writing.

  • psycospazz
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem, especially the point it makes
  • oo i like this...you take your twigs of language and arrange them in a very unique way

  • pangur ban
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    Intriguing poem....The last two sentences of the second strophe really stand out in my mind. Writers often do bend the rules of syntax as a means to an end. Is that always bad? Perhaps.

    Good write... you've a clever turn of phrase.

    Thank you - PB

  • WomanWriting
    April 12
    Edit | Reply
    I like to read good poetry.
    I think I have found a place
    to start.

    WW

  • ecrivain01 silver member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply

    Intriguing write ...

    and it certainly does make a strong point, considering what I see on here every day.

    You have a typo:

    Will you bend old yellow
    rules of syntax until it frays (since rules is the subject, it should "until they fray".

    Otherwise, good job.


    • Zahhar gold member
      April 11
      Edit | Reply
      That's not a typo. I was illustrating the point of bent syntax.
1 - 20 of 20