O'er the burning moon
the dawn awakens like
crystal clear visions
where sights and scents
of sultry tears
become vivid under
the skies aflame.
Epic annex span across
the naked horizon;
to the realm of
secret suns,
where majestic ebony
paints feathers
along my broken wings.
Through the blur
the fire ignites this
bamboo bassinet,
your ageless comatose
smokes the coursing flesh;
I am weak in
your cascading ubiquity,
as dead grass and
infinite winds
sail you adrift into
the vast midnight sea.
Author notes
viking burials = win
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel by Dauzet.
550 points, ended April 11, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
let the imagery embrace your soul
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Nice write. Like the imagery.
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Very interesting, never read a poem like this before. I like it though, *thumbs up* bravo.
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How the hell is this considered difficult language? Seriously?! Do people even READ anything other than Harry Potter and shitty self-help books these days? /rant
Viking burials are indeed made of win, as is this entire piece, including your everyday vocabulary (though "crystal clear," in the first stanza, was too cliche for the rest of the piece, but that's just my opinion). May intelligence and good poetry prevail forever.
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The vikings were a fierce and warring race. They were afraid of war. This is a nice piece. Good luck to you. Best of luck in your future writes.
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i think this is an awsome poem, it reminds me of my dead gran, i dont know y. good times, anyway great write!!!!! xx
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Very nice... the imagery brings forth the Viking journey to Odin's lair... Well done.
Ken
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I find this interesting and fascinating indeed,an awesome write
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nice one...
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some lovely imagery here but I needed the author notes to re read and understand. The second time made sense and has a lovely haunting quality. I do like the ending suggesting the final journey on an open sea as it becomes image and metaphor combined.
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Sheer brillance
I adore reading poetry that has great use of the English language.
A fantastic write that is deeply expressive and full of imagery.
Best of luck
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Ok. I have to admit this one is over my head. You have used alot of big words. They dont seem to fit the poem though. I don't quite understand what you were getting at. However, I dont get modern art either. Best of luck with the contest.
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I just used everyday vocabulary that I normally use.
Hard to find people nowadays who appreciate good use of the English language 
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Hooray Vikings. Hooray Kerri's vocabulary. Hooray Kerri! Great, fantastical, beautiful write
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