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Drown

Water is good for the body, but when is it too much?
Perhaps when it is filling the lungs.
Thrash for your life, but there is nothing to grab on to.
You wanted a drink, and are now in over your head.
Hunger will still exist, even if thrist does not.
Relax, and succumb to the pressure as your craving fills the empty space.
Then your own weight will drag you down.

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Sokarjo
    June 2

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    A powerful piece on a terrifying experience. You used a forward, almost blunt way of detailing such an experience, and it's fantastic. Your piece is almost frightening, yet another one that draws me in and makes me want to read it over again.


  • movedon
    July 31, 2008

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    I can't say I've thought about the way I want to die...Anyway, You have a lot of...smarts? For lack of a better word. I like the last line. Well penned.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


    • Pingwen
      July 31, 2008
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      I think about death quite often, actually. I can't help it; it's a weird obsession of mine. But thank you.


  • NotOfThisWorld
    July 23, 2008

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    That was a wild one.

    I must say, every single poem has managed to catch me completely off-guard. Not an easy thing to do, since I feel at times I have "seen it all" on this site.


    When contemplating death, I have decided that drowning is not the way to go. Probably one of the most painful and horrid ways to die. No, I'd say a shot to the brain with a 9mil, or being hit by an 18-wheeler that's doing 80 down the freeway would suffice for a quick and painless death. I'd much prefer one of those.

    • Pingwen
      July 23, 2008
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      Well, I'm glad I'm providing you with new material. As for death, I would prefer either hypothermia, because of the peaceful feeling I've heard of before you die, or spontaneous combustion, just for the surprise of it. Thank you as always.


      • Sokarjo
        June 2
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        Hypothermia or carbon monoxide poisoning sounds good to me.... peaceful and sleepy right before you go.


  • Lonely Christina
    April 22, 2008
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    wow good job! i really liked this one.
    keep up the good work


  • XxTattered WingsxX
    April 11, 2008
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    you know I meant usual***

  • XxTattered WingsxX
    April 11, 2008

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    I'm really just not even gonna ask where in the hell this came from, but I like it. It's not as twisted as your usually writing is. Your imagery expanded in this one. It is getting much better. Your work is quite intriguing. Nice job babe. <3

    • Pingwen
      April 11, 2008
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      Actually, like most of my ideas, it started with a single thought, like water, and I just expanded on it.Yeah, I'm working on a few right now, one has my usual dark theme, and another is somewhat cheerful and mellow. Hard to believe, eh? Thank you, I found it easy to put imagery in this one; I'm glad you can see I'm getting better, and thanks for enjoying it. <3

1 - 12 of 12