Into the unknown, I peer, wondering…
Much time passed within our lives…
Much love spoken, little time remains…
Days come, days go…
My tunnel’s light, so it seems,
grows dimmer still…
Many claim to know the journey,
we must all take, one day…
Yet that knowledge is unknown,
until that journey is ours…
For no one can possibly know,
what truly lies beyond…
Though sometimes others say,
what they may well have seen…
Ahead of us all, the realm looms…
More so, and sooner,
for some, than for others…
The realm now seems larger for me,
than ever before in my life…
Have I done it right, truly right?
© Jonathan Wikkins April 10, 2008
All Rights Reserved
Author notes
an entry to this challenge, please look at it (if you're not in the challenge that is, cause you already know) and tell me how well it seems to fit! this is my first attempt at abstract poetry, deliberate abstract that is... i do hope it's good!
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4105809
In a list
A contest entry
- Cryptic Tongues by Violent Serenity.
1200 points, ended April 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract Expressions by Aralyn Leighanna.
485 points, ended April 27, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Well done dear!
I liked how this was done, abstract and deep all at the same time
Good luck and thanks for entering! -
You've done it right
this is a very intelligent and interesting creation you have here 
very, very well done. I may have to check out more of your work after the contest ^.^ keep it up, and good luck in the contest!
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For a first attempt my deary, you have done an awesome job. I feel you were not quite abstract enough to cover up what your tring to describe... however you did remarkable. Dont fret... we wanted your best attempt and you have not let us down.
you have a wonderful sense of humor my dear I giggled looking at your comments on the other entries. You brighten up the challenge... and we enjoy that 
As for your piece.. I am giving you a 95. I feel you could have pushed metaphors into this piece by the dozen. I deducted 5 points for lack of the metaphor and abstract features Not bad.. but trust me you will get a chance later to do this again in this challenge!!! If you can hang in there 
good luck dear
Mel
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Now see.....
....that wasn't so bad....was it?
LMBO....hehe ~
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Hi you funny man :)
This about the after-life I do believe, and the journey getting there....please do not give answer away as you have Melanie still coming behind to figure it out :)
I think this is done beautifully, but a tad weak on hiding your message and Theme I feel.....but not bad at all ~
I love abstract, for the plain reason....I enjoy a good puzzle in poetry :)
You have given us some of the pieces to place together, but left out the majority and most important pieces for us to finish this puzzling write ~
Nice job cutie.....good luck!
You score is based on complexity for me..>>>> 97.9
Be well,
Bear ~
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This piece is good enough
with great lines and
a beautiful flow within its simplicity =]
I also like the point of view here ^^
Well, good luck to all of us in the challenge o.o -
I loved this piece. It was beautifully done. I loved the clear flow of thoughts. Maybe it could be more abstract. Your message is clear in this and I think you did a great job.
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i really really loved this poem. very very beautiful. thought provoking.... all the best...
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Deep are the thoughts in words
The questioning and the unanswered
The journey paves it own direction
Julie
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A fine piece, certainly leaves you thinking. I'm not sure whether it is right or not..lol but it is beautifully done. Good luck in the challenge
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WOW
This was truely something, You did this so very well. the way that you wrote it took my breathe away. all I can say well done.
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