I am sure the wind was whispering warnings,
remembering the dance
of fallen cherry blossoms
tickling my ankles,
their scent is still crystal clear.
Yet, my memory recalls
no afternoon breezes.
Just the pristine perfection,
before my heart was broken.
Reflecting upon that day,
imprinted now in lonely gray.
Author notes
Prompt credit:
#3http://images.mygirlyspace.com/myspacegraphics/images/graphics/prod_1035_40201.jpg
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Lovely poem captures the bitter sweet feelings we can have about what might have been.
I was just in the area and found your page to be a delight
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Moments that were beautiful can take on these connotations when something happens to taint them. A beautiful hand-in-hand walk can carry a grayness and twinge to the memory when the relationship ends. Moments of romantic words become shallow or frost-like. And that is how I read your poem. The first line, I like very much, with its ominous suggestion...yes, usually the signs are there, we are just too into the moment to notice it.
A beautifully written poem.
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This poem is great! When I read it, I saw the colour slowly fading away from the picture you used, and leaving it grey, like you described yourself when heartbroken.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
taiinfinite
so beautifuly sad pristine then broken a great write
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The imagery is so beautiful and this holds such a haunted sadness to it. I love the wording and the flow, they really bring this poem alive. Beautiful work!
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Beautifully sad words here my friend.
Congratulations to you on your trophies
and keep up the wonderful work here!
Always a pleasure to read you!
Jeremy0826 -
Beautifully written poem congrats on the trophies
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Again I was impressed you have a style somewhat similar to my own, just you have a classical beauty in your style that tickles the senses drawing the reader into your work. I find it curious that I found my way back here at a time when I could really use some of the beauty I knew was at AP and I'm thankful I read some of your work. I&V
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The imagery you portrayed in the words of this poem is superb...this one should have been GOLD, because it is flawless...
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OH! This is just sighful... Very well spoken lines to reach out and make the reader feel. Excellent use of imagery - going quite well with the image prompt. Nicely penned!
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stunning...
i love the painted picture your words weaved, as well as fitting with the pic prompt. quite loverly . . .
Tasha
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love the images of how perfect the world feels when in love and then when it all falls apart ... the world stops and is "... now in lonely gray."
thanks.
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Oh wow. This is gorgeous. I love all the imagery in this and the italics. Italics throughout the poem promote a softer feel which matched perfectly all the emotion you have in this. It's perfect.
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Wow this poem is very good. The picture can be seen without needing it to be posted. Very good work.
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Ah..Indeed your heart is a pen to describe itself with the ink of the tears..you are very creative and quite artistic while painting the emotions here..well done...
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beautiful end line rhyme, masterful use of subtely... I am quite fond of the third stanza!
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days of getting our hearts broken seem to always echo exactly like this ...perfect
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Thank you for your lovely entry, good luck, Josie
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Wonderfully done on the image cookie
I loved the imagery and wording
Splendidly done indeed
Best of wishes to you.
Tony
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This was enchantingly sad.
Beautifully crafted, my dear sister.
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