Pen overflowing
but thoughts ebbed
words never fell
raindrops from cloudless
drummed up my head
searched consciousness
pen between fingers
ploughed fallow lands
sowing nothing
until struggle
broke down without a poem.
Author notes
Some times it happens to everyone
A contest entry
- Ebb by Mirthryl.
1050 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very good indeed. Congratulations on the bronze.
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Ah, clever. The ebb and flow of your muse. I can relate. Nice images.
Congratulations of winning the bronze.
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Very nice imagery. Nice counterpoints of "pen overflowing," "thoughts ebbed," and "raindrops from cloudless." My favorite lines, "ploughed fallow lands, sowing nothing." Indeed, I believe we have all experienced bringing out all our tools and ending up with nothing to show for it!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your entry in my contest! -
I definately like the last two lines in this one. They are very strong and spread quite some emotion with them.
I missed a bit punctuation in this one. The poem is quite good, but the lack of punctuation made this read almost like it was a shopping list (don't understand me wrong here).
There's something awkward with fourth and fifth line as well. As if there is a word missing after cloudless . But maybe I got that feeling because English isn't my maternal language.
Keep it up!
Leander -
even in your struggle, you effortlessly convey a masterpiece!!!
excellent write thoroughly enjoyed it!
~R
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I hate it when that happens; I feel empty-headed lately. I like the metaphor of the pen as a plough, futile in a famine. There is a hopelessness which builds to the finality of the last line - and stops "without a poem".
As a poem it is pretty good! Good luck. 
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yes, time to drink from the fount of nex observations or experience when this happens. Wonderfully put!
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