Standing bare upon the stage
blushing sage reading lines of verse,
his prolific pen had risen again
and so blessed the front row;
no seats left in the room,
stood backs pressed to walls
exposed bricks and mortar dust covered
elbows and shoulders, glasses of ale
and stout as the words rang out,
taking on meteoric metaphor.
Concepts flashed across imaginary crawl
reason of man, distilled into pungent words
and mighty pen rose again, to emphasis
the weary stasis,
the way the world seemed stuck;
if it were another day he’d have rhymed profanity
or even used a word he’d forbidden, redolent
of insanity, reminding himself to never trust
the word, crazy;
ahh, but the pen sagged a bit seemed lazy
his voice in back of room seemed a bit hazy still
he rose to occasion once more unveiled light
and swore allegiance to the holiness of truth
brought down the house raised the roof;
and confirmed the confounding messages,
so real, fear and faith.
Just a voice in a smoke filled room, revealed by
choice to speak beyond the confines of a body, to raise
hope to cover shame for he has squandered his name;
and time, naked in need of forgiveness
but has learned the price of water is dear;
and love is the breath of the soul.
Author notes
2:--:Write on 'Poetry'.This write should be in free verse.It should show how beautiful poetry is and not through blatant descriptions Originality, phrasing, imagery should be the emphasis here.
A contest entry
- ~~BEST POET ON AP:SEASON 3:FINALE~~ by wakingdevil.
5000 points, ended May 9, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do You Write Serious Poetry or the Kind that Rhymes? (Contest) by Peripatetic.
1400 points, ended July 29, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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The beginning seemed to speak to the power of poetic speech. The end appeared to turn back on the poet's art as a waste of time and resources. I am chagrined when I have to say of a poem that I just don't get it. As I read it, the poem sounds like it should mean something, but what? The last two lines are delivered like a conclusion or resolution, but I cannot relate them to the rest of the poem.
The poem may be just fine. This reader just doesn't have the background to appreciate every offering on its own merits.
Internal rhymes sprinkled throughout the poem lend a phonetic cadence to the essentially free verse form and contribute to the flow of the poem.
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i have had this experience before, poetry which does not reach ...especially the reader's sense of humor, or satire...and i accept that every poem does not reach every reader but it doesn't rest easily and so i take these comments and try to find better ways... thank you for taking time to share your reading...PK
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As I was reviewing the entries to my contest I came across several poems for which I was sure I was missing the point or at least the point of view. That is one of the reasons for which I extend three applause for every poem on which I comment. Just because I don't get it doesn't mean there isn't something there. Most often, if I feel at a loss regarding another's creative effort, I do not comment at all. When hosting a contest that is not a considerate option.
Your reply of understanding that we sometimes don't get our points across, especially the subtleties of irony and satire, is refreshing. A too thin skin is the bane of civil discourse, but yours appears to be both supple and resilient.
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thank you for reading... appreciated the time and effort to analyze and express...so much appreciated...PK
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Thank you for entering my contest
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the style flows very well, very naturally and extremely eloquent. nice work
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You wrote it in a delightful poetic prose.
The comment below says everything that needs to be said about this poem
Great write H, I enjoy reading your talent
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Bravo! Standing in applause!
Your second stanza is simply amazing. Your use of vocabulary, astounding as it builds to the frenzied third stanza. A poet's heart and mind will know these moments...
Your subtle and perfect internal rhyme keeps one flowing through this remarkable verse. Your final stanza wraps up the entire piece providing the glory of a moment, when there is nothing but - truth.
Oh I enjoyed this so much. Superb poetry. Simply superb. ~Pamela
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How appropriate the timing for me; I have a poetry reading coming up. lol. Though it's never a full house, and I think half the people come more for the refreshments than the art.
I love how you ran with this prompt, so real, so poetically spoken, and loved how you effectively had the reader experience this.
Beautifully moving poetry, my friend.
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"and love is the breath of the soul."
yes...it is....and so is poetry...this is an absolutely gorgeous poem....
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