Your kerosene kisses
collide with my heated heart
explosions burst as we fall in love
Take shelter within my words
you are my passion
I'd wear my heart on sleeves for you
as if a new fashion
You are my wind
my water
my earth
my fire
Baby you are my world
You are the color in my eyes
you are the cracker jack surprise
I am the five year old boy
Who worships you
My shinning sun of night
you are my world
My world
Author notes
Eh,work in progress I suppose
A contest entry
- The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
i love the words you use. you have great vocabulary, it adds to the essence of the poem. i love it!
-
Beautiful...I love the passion in this write at the beginning and it ends sweetly. your girl is lucky to have you Great write.
-
This is great! I enjoyed reading it out loud. It's got a certain rhythm, an attitude. She is "your world" indeed! My favorite stanza?
"Baby you are my world
You are the color in my eyes
you are the cracker jack surprise"
Never thought I'd see cracker jacks in a love poem ... but you made it work dude! LOL Great write! Good luck in the contest.
-
-
Thank you
lol
I improved alittle since you read my first poems.lol
-
-
This is a very beautiful poem. I love it. ChivalrousKnight is right - your choice of words is excellent.
Beautiful, as always.
Write on.
~*~
-
-
Thank you very much,I will remember you all
-
-
You should be proud. You do a very good job with your choice of words and metaphors. I think you are very talented and under appreciated.
-
-
Thank you that means alot coming from a talented poet like you.
I really appreciate your words of encouragement.
-
-
whomever this is written for must be very proud to have you as their servant
aint love grand?
if it isnt, then go to vegas and pay a grand -
This indeed was lovely. Thanks for sending me the link. Best wishes in all you endeavor
Passions
-
Jessie
Jessie, he's gonna hit you up for a loan! Don't forget your hip-boots!
(good) -
Wonderful
Very well expressed. A great creation so full of terrific thoughts.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
