flat
slender
stone glances
glistening waves
+ + +
brusque coarse attitude
polished smooth by tidal grace
life lessons humbly embraced
virtue’s fissures filled
+ + +
true purpose found
heaven bound
in Love's
hand
Joyce Josephson
Author notes
Arkquain
a form created by Arkbear
syllable count:
1
2
3
4
space
5
7*
7*
5
space
4
3
2
1
*These two lines must rhyme each other.
_______________________________________________________
Ebb of self (coarse, rough)
allow God's grace to roll us smooth through our live circumstances
to reach a level where we can serve effectively
and give God glory.
Background by Lazy
In a list
A contest entry
- Ebb by Mirthryl.
1050 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AS THE SPIRIT MOVES by Three Doves.
850 points, ended May 8, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
Such beauty in poetic form of a well chasten child of our Lord. Amen! I am very pleased you've entered my contest and shared your heart and faith. Thank you!
In God's Love
Three Doves
-
This is absolutely beautiful. The wording, and the form. I could almost guess that arkbear created the form!! He is a wonderful poet as well.
This one was worthy of the gold!!
-
Hey Sis
Dunno why but I stepped in from church... popped an entry in in here...checked and found this wonder and have not moved for over 30 minutes...awesome combo of Arkquain and background. Soothing or something but whatever it is I say deserving of the gold and thanks for taking the edge off the chilliness of my house...yeah winter creeps closer Downunder (brrrrrr)
MWAH
-
-
Thanks, Sis!
-
-
Very good
I really like this poem, it was very well written Keep up teh good work! -
Bandits United!
A wonderful Arkquain, you know how to write in this form and have applied it very effectively, and I must say in a poetic powerful way...the only thing I personally thought, might be revised is the two rhyming lines 'grace' and 'embraced' it would still work if the 'D' was taken off, just my thoughts though ...however what can I say...this is just a lovely piece of artistry, not only in words but in images you powerfully bring forth...I read it a few times, lovely, just lovely...thank you for sharing your heart and faith in this fine form, and congratulations on a well deserved Gold
Love and smiles
-
-
Thanks so much, Claire.
-
-
Bandits United!!
Holy Mother of Pearls~ I am so late and do apologize for I sensed I was missing a note
This is a Gem and the energy exuded is Powerful!
Just Love this
and that background too
Gorgeous form You have weaved
I'm Honored to have read
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, Desire!
-
-
Bandits Uniteed
I admire the form and content. I do not know much about the form love the content. Sorry if I am late been working in the garden
-
Bandits United!
Congratulations on the Gold trophy with this lovely Arkquain. It's quite an exacting form and could lead to a rather staccato flow, but I didn't pick that up with your piece here. It reads pleasingly smoothly.
Hoping you enjoy your day in the Bandit spotlight today!
Yay for the Bandits! Whoo-hoo!
-
Bandits United!
Wow, this is a beautiful form and you have certainly made it more wonderful with your words... I really like how it flows so well and speaks to the reader so softly, yet full of assurance... congratulations on the gold trophy - very well deserved
Keep writing
Polly
-
BANDITS UNITED !!
What a beautiful Arkquain you have crafted here and so meaningful. Your poem of being made useful by the tender grace of God is inspiring. Well written poem expressing much wisdom.
Congrats on the trophy.
You are being Spotlighted by your Bandit Family today because WE CARE!
Thanks for being a part of our merry band!
Bandits Rock!
Dennis
-
Bandits United !!!
Yes, only through God's grace do we have life, we have to remember to give thanks for lessons that are given to us in order for us to have graditude for the many blessing we recieve everyday beautiful writing love the form and the words flow with ease along with wonderful imagery this is a Gold winning poem all around...
-
BANDITS UNITED!!!!
i love this poem! it is beautiful...in your presentation and in what it says. keep writing sister. you are very talented. God bless you always
-
Bandits United!
This is absoluely beautiful! A very well deserved gold trophy winner...
Love & Light
Debbera
-
Very well deserved Gold and I love Arkbear's form.
Enjoy your day in the Spotlight.
Titia~
-
BANDITS UNITED!
The metaphor you used within this piece is apt and nicely descriptive, and your form is perfect. The smoothing of those edges can be painful, though its necessary, as you stated. This is a fine poem!
-
BANDITS UNITED
Enjoy you day in the spotlight! This was very good and I haven't seen alot of poems written like this. well done. and it conveys a great truth as well.
-
BANDITS UNITED
This is your day in the spotlight. Enjoy.
Do like this form and you have created the poem to compliment this form. A lovely job - a golden moment, for sure. Congratulations!
-
Bandits United!
So full of peace and so graceful! What a wonderful and uplifting write, I so enjoyed reading this morning. Enjoy your day in the spotlight. God loves you so do I. your bandit sister Theresa
-
BANDITS UNITED !!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!! Admiring and thinking how beautiful this poem is. This form is lovely and your poem smiles with elegance and grace.
-
Precise and crystalline. Congratulations on the gold.
-
Beautiful! The first stanza puts me in mind of skipping stones, and possibly the stone becoming aware of its new abode. Outstanding descriptions and imagery in the second stanza. We can choose to be smoothed by experience and grace, or fractured in stubborn brittleness. My favorite line, "virtue's fissures filled." Final stanza, that it is by Love's hand alone that we can find and fill our "true purpose." I enjoyed this very much! By your form notes, I believe you have room to add a syllable in line 6. I will reread all entries before judging after contest is closed.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your entry in my contest. Outstanding background choice, BTW! -
-
Thanks for pointing out the syllable count problem in L6. Fixed!
-
-
This is the first I have seen an Arkquain, makes for a very nice poem sis and the ending was great and my fav part
-
-
Thanks you! I just noticed the diamond shape on this background matches the poem beautifully. Thank you so much for letting me use it!
-
-
great write joyce my friend.. wonderful form from Arkbear
good luck in the contest
x cheeky x
-
-
Thanks so much, Judie!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
