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Painted Perfection



Misty eyes that glitters like the star
You can see it shimmers from afar
It glows like a precious gem in the dark
Mine never lose it spark
That’s what I am, a painted perfection
I am your creation…
I breathe in charade
Living in masquerade

I smile like your Mona Lisa
Lips are painted with perfect magenta
Enough to cover up all my sorrow
Hiding the pain to welcome tomorrow
That’s what I am, a painted perfection
I am your creation…
I breathe in charade
Living in masquerade

I glow like no other
But I weep in the corner
Away from the light of the day
For I fear what they will say
That’s what I am, a painted perfection
I am your creation…
I breathe in charade
Living in masquerade

Bitter memories hidden inside of me
Caged for you not to see
Why at night I scream and weep
Till I silently fall asleep
That’s what I am, a painted perfection
I am your creation…
I breathe in charade
Living in masquerade

“Painted beautiful imperfection
I became your creation
Colored with so much pain
Poisonous stain…”

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Comments


  • Confetti Fairy-x
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i felt the rhyme was a little forced, especially "it glows like a precious gem in the dark/ mine never lose it spark" which should also be "its" spark. also i think the rhymthm was a bit uneven and hard to keep.

    however, i do love the line "i smile like your Mono Lisa/ Lips are painted with perfect magenta"

    mostly i felt some of the imagery was a bit cliche and not inventive enough, and although the personalness of the poem stood out well, it didnt seem truly unique because of images like "bitter memories" and "caged"

    the repetition was effective, but would have maybe been moreso without the rhyming.

    interesting poem, and i could feel the emotion behind it so that's what i was looking for in the contest.

    thanks for entering

    Con


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this poem was interesting. Good luck to you in the contest. I like the background in which you used.


  • yourhot21
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is an amzing poem! I love these lines;I smile like your Mona Lisa
    Lips are painted with perfect magenta
    Great job!