Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Illuminate

By Christopher E. Rangel

 

We are all light

Stars in the night
We all shine bright
Emanations
Manifestations of the solar wind
The galaxies
The air we breathe
Are you alright?
I miss you dearly
You're in my mind
You're in my heart
You are right here
So come with me
We'll watch it all pass
See the armies fight from far away
Not even they can stop our peaceful day
This life so fleeting
the shores receding
Are you really here or have I lost my mind again?
Well it doesn't matter
I see you here my friend
Let's walk along the shoreline
Fly among the stars
Sleep on silver clouds
Look at where we are
We're in my dreams
Disparate scenes
Where all light convenes
Setting us free
We are all eternal somewhere

A contest entry

What does it mean to you?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • a cry of stream
    November 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the last line really got to me.
    nice write...


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OK i have to say i like this one ALOT!!

    and my favorite part is " We're in my dreams
    Disparate scenes"
    I have my reasons
    just know i really do like this piece LOADS!
    it was an amazing write!
    Good luck.
    -Mandi


  • BluesMan gold member
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful imagery Thank you for entering my contest

  • piccola silver member
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You're in my mind
    You're in my heart

    reminds me of a Rod Stewart Song ... I love Roddy. Thank you for entering


  • crystallynnbradford
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow that last line really capivated me...it's a great way to end a piece on friendship...just absoloutly great


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    vivid imagery...

    fantastic vocabulary. I like this poem and I like the way it moves from one thought to another. The grammar is perfect.

    You asked for an awkward area [below this box]..Do you realise that you have written 'the' twice in a row? Maybe a typo, maybe I misread! [the the shores receding].

    I like your unique rhyme, which I cannot see following a pattern, but when it happens it jolts at me and makes me notice. Well done.

    'sleep on silver clouds' is a wonderful thought and full of emotion.

    Richard


  • Yellow-Rose
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful and very well written poem. Thanks for your entry


  • eoz
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful. 'We are all eternal somewhere'
    and all eternal to someone.. ? . .made me feel thoughtful and that is always what I look for in the poetry I love!
    'Manifestations of the solar wind' great rhythm!
    You are an artist of words, a deep thinker I sense and your dreams, sound like a great place to be.


    • dabpunx
      April 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for your compliments. yeah i think about how we are all forged in the furnace of the sun from time to time. that's another line in another one of mine


  • heartbeatsRoverated
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's inspirational. Its like through the poem, your talking personally to the reader, like calming a frightened child. It flows well, and my favorite section is:
    "Let's walk along the shoreline
    Fly among the stars
    Sleep on silver clouds"

    It has great imagery. A very nice piece.


    • dabpunx
      April 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      this imagery has a relaxing voice because atthe time i needed soothing. Thank you for seeing that i like the way you describe the voice used. keep it real my friend.


  • VampireShadow
    April 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I could definitely see this as a song...It definitely has a lyrical sort of quality to it [[If you think on the standards of today's music ]]
    For a poem, I tend to have issues with rhyming...unless they're really spaced apart, the rhymes simply take my attention away from the comment. But as a song, this would be wonderful. And as a poem, it's definitely thought-provoking and invokes a sort of calmness in the reader...
    Nice job.

    <3 Jess


    • dabpunx
      April 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much for your feedback i am happy you like it. its funny that you say this would be a good song because it is a song i wrote for a friend who went off to war.. hes back now. keep in touch, other poems i have dont rhyme so much maybe youd like them too.

  • Shadow Darkstar
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hmm...

    Inspiring, and thought provoking. I like it. Not many poems here amke me think, however this one, has a special gift. Talented, indeed. And, I envy you, you can rhyme in your poetry, with ease it seems. I cannot. I've always struggled with that.

    I would give you the applause, but I haven't any mor epoints to give them to you, so, I shall give you three of them here in words.


    • dabpunx
      April 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      thank you

      i've been writing poems in little journals and on scrap paper since i was like 10. My brother and I write songs so a lot of my poems become lyrics... my mom is also a poet but manly in spanish. rhyming isnt as important as content though. interesting topics and concepts make great words when placed in context

1 - 16 of 16