screw life
just give me the knife
you say no
I say fine
if no knife
I'll just cross the line
I want to die
say good-bye
everything is stupid
life is just crap
it is no longer a game
but a trap
please let me go
but you still say no
I don't want pain
I just want to die
so please make this easy
and just say good-bye
why won't you let me
I just want to be free...
Author notes
most of all my music is used when I write poetry...the basic idea is from my heart of course...but how to phrase things and little things like usually come to me from my music...because I'm always listening to it
A contest entry
- Dark Writes Options Contest by Devient.
500 points, ended April 19, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me emotion by Logans-Mommy.
1700 points, ended April 17, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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damn, this was gorgeous.
I love the rhyme scheme it held me the second I started reading...great job and keep writing -
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thanks for the great comment
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really good. Nice, short, but held alot of emotions. You almost had to look past the blatently simple words [not mean, compliment] to see the meaning. Almost desperate, wanting them to stop. I really like this piece, and the rhyme was really good too!
Good job and good luck in the contest! -
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thank you for the lovely comment, it really means a lot to me!
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the funny thing is people never think short poems mean anything but the truth is they mean so much.So much truth short & sweet & straight to the point!!! Good luck!
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thank you for the nice comment
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I saw your contest and decided to check out some of your writing... To give my honest opinion on this one, I really wasn't feeling this (sorry!)... Your rhyme was very amateur and you could really use a lesson in descriptive language.
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um not exactly my fav poem, sorry i'm blunt but it still has a good meaning just fuck u and give me my knife
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oh, well, its cool! thanks for giving it a go though
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Very intense. The first is like a slap to the face. Well written. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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thanks for the comment
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Whoa.. talk about being emo!
No, seriously, I can relate to it. I'm sure many, many people have felt this way.. and yeah, it's a bad feeling ain't it?
I'm inspired by music too, btw. And movies as well besides that.
Well done!
Blessed Be,
~Evolet -
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yeah..most my stuff is emo..even though I've never cut..a lot of my friends do..and I've thought about it and worse..yeah music is my LIFE! lol thanks for the comment
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WOW!
Honestly, I'm blown away by this piece! The first line caught me completely off guard, in an amazing sort of way, lol, and it kept getting better with every line! I loved it, I felt like I was you, the raw intensity and emotion and anger was intoxicating! "screw life
just give me the knife". VERY amazing starter line, I've always loved a poem that started out strong and kept its way through! I've been in that situation before where I've contemplated and attempted suicide, not so fun, but this made me feel all of the rage and EVERYTHING like it was happenning again (which is a good thing for this contest, lol).
Just one thing, you need to put the song and band you got the inspiration from in your authors notes or I cant let it advance (and trust me, competition just heated up!
). Good luck and PLEASE correct the authors notes!
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thank you so much for this lovely comment thank you so much
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very dark, very sad, but its always nice to put your bad feelings away into words.
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heehee, thanks for ALL my comments
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Very sad write and Im sorry to say that I can definetely relate...very short rhymes but that added to the intensity and rawness of the piece. Good Job
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thank you for the comment
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