Lying next to you I'm feeding
Off rough waves of raw emotion
Wanting me and disregarding
All the rules that I laid down
Soon you picture us together
Having "normal" conversation
Sharing all the human wonders
Of relationships and life
I don't hide my imperfections
They flawlessly fall where they may
Look at me here - the She Devil
Dressed up all in Bo Peeps clothes
Stick with me, I'll drag you under
My big black house of disrepair
Then you'll be confused and ask me
Why you trusted me at all
Author notes
Quote prompt:
"I am just a worthless liar;
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you;
trust in me and fall, as well."
- 'Sober' by Tool
A contest entry
- Quote Inspiration. by Puking Faerie Dust.
1200 points, ended May 19, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I liked the flow of this for the most part, but I felt that it needed maybe just a bit of punctuation. But that's just my opinion.
I liked your diction and wording, but I wish there would have been more imagery. Still very good, though. Thank you for entering, and good luck 
Jeanette*~ -
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I know it is a matter of opinion, that some people like the confines of commas and periods, I just don't. It feels too formal to me. I appreciate your constructive critique.
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Good take on the prompt and well done with the meter, nice poem.
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Well written but so despairing.
I have known many who have said that before. I think the key is not just recognizing the problem, but to learn to deal with it too.
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Thanks, just took the promt and ran with it. Written more by the former self than the present one. Sadly, it's my best "place" of creativity. I'm not too good at mushy stuff.
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