Eyes are like a projector
Now they play pale scripts
With black & white characters
Once upon a time I was acidic,
How strong my words were
If I spill my quill over you
Your skin will surly burn
And through gaping holes
My acidic words would
Attack your heart, your mind;
Then time and circumstances
They neutralized me, my words
I could now dissolve in you
Just like water, merge with you
And you will still be a drop,
Still what you are, you were
Console your heart, your mind;
Then you diluted me even more
I am basic & words are bitter
My speech is no longer acidic
That can magically kill you
Neither it’s universally solvable
To dissolve in you, all I have
Is need of your heart, your mind;
With black and white characters
They play pale poetry and scripts
Projecting right into my eyes.
Author notes
This is inspired from the quotation..."When two people meet, if there is a reaction then, both are completely transformed..."
A contest entry
- ONE DECENT CONTEST FOR YOU.... by phoenixonfire.
300 points, ended April 22, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Bandit appreciation!
Thank you Pole Star, for contributing this fine poem to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the gold
~Lilac
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I haven't read any of your work (I don't think) sincne I've been back. I don't remember what your writing was like before I left, but I don't remember it being anything like this. This is amazing... Such choice of words, rythm, similies, metaphors, personifications... everything in here is excellent! You did a fabulous job and got a well earned gold on this one. Don't take your talent lightly... You have a wonderful gift
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I liked your take on the prompt. I think when two people meet, there is a reaction but it may not always be noticeable. I think both people are transformed in some way.
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I really liked this. Extremely worthy contest winner, congratulations and nice job. Keep up the great work.
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Then you diluted me even more
I am basic & words are bitter
My speech is no longer acidic
That can magically kill you
Neither it’s universally solvable
To dissolve in you, all I have
Is need of your heart, your mind;
A very deep poem and you deserved your gold trophy.
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This is a beautiful poem... I really like the idea behind it - you took the prompt somewhere original and wonderful
I thought that maybe the word 'surly' didn't quite fit where it was?.. but that is just my opinion - a very well deserved gold - fantastic poem!
Keep writing
Polly
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A very deep poem, with amazing imagery. Congrats on the gold! Well deserved! Very well crafted!
Love & light
Debbera
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Congrats on the gold, I agree with Warrior Eagle, it was well deserved. I got lost in thei peice, imaging everything being described here. The title realyl caught my attention, and I'm glad I took the time to read this one. Was wondering if I could post this on my website, with credit to you? One of my favorites from this group yet. Well done.
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Well done on the gold.
Deserved it.
And good work,
this was interesting to read.
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Like the metaphors you used here - the flow and the idea it is not a quickie - nice to read something with a bit more depth than the few line quickies found everywhere these days. There's a time and place for both of them. Congratulations on winning gold in this contest. Well deserving.
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WOW!! This is amazing! The prompt that u chose was so inspiring that u created a breath taking poem!! I like the title of the poem...its so catchy. Excellent wording and beautiful flow. As such no complaints about ur poem
Thanks for entering and good luck!!
pri
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