Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Aquarium

To the bottom feeders it all seems imaginary
like stardust fins weren't meant to touch
for they wouldn't dare feed at the surface
in dreaded fear of reflections once lost.

Closer shimmered lines others find their failure
like minuscule plankton easier for spirit to digest
than sweeping waves of success suspect to error
or love prone to scatter all the familiar waters.

 

 

Author notes

"How frail the human heart must be- a mirrored pool of thought."

- Sylvia Plath

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • notorious silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply

    This is pretty, deep, and scathing

    Screw you for managing to blend it all.

    I actually really like those (evil) first 2 lines in this context. I love your metaphor. I freaking...love this.

    I am bookmarking.

    Enough said.


  • Tattboyspet silver member
    April 10

    Edit | Reply

    promise me that if you don't win anything with this one you will tell me???
    just promise me okay???


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh that was awesome!! So much truth in that piece that is overflowing with such great metaphor!


  • Pamela A Lamppa gold member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting take on Plath. I liked this, especially "sweeping waves of success suspect to error"
    There is truth in that line.
    Nice work. ~Pamela


  • Kelli Marie
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent writing. Wonderful imagery throughout. Great take on the quote. Good luck to you in the contest.
    Kelli

  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    It seems most of your poetry is dreamy, hehe (I mean that in a good way). I love how it shows the fear to look inside of yourself, and the reasons why. The last line was perfect- it wasn't cheery, but held hope. If I'm wrong with all of this, please don't hesitate to correct me. You definitely did wonders with the quote.
    Thank you for entering, and good luck
    Jeanette*~

    • markgrif gold member
      April 9
      Edit | Reply
      Dreamy? Aww thanks.
      You are pretty much dead on with your interpretation.

1 - 8 of 8