Redefining this unknown definition,
lurking beyond all formalities of self
recognition, words sighed bereavement
as tides formed around swirls of tenured
melodies~
And still, they lingered just for another
moment of standing still in absolution
Staring from beneath, every simplistic wave-
relinquishing logic within an embryonic stage
capsized the varied lined phrases of speech…
This was just merely the journey written in
formation
A contest entry
- Ebb by Mirthryl.
1050 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
"Reverberated," defined as resounded (echoed), reflected, or having a prolonged or continuing effect. Intriguing "lurking beyond all formalities of self recognition." Lovely "words sighed" and "swirls of tenured melodies." Nice use of alliteration. If stillness is absolution, and the embryo releases its hold on logic, which "capsized...phrases of speech," will the written journey restore the knowledge in due course to the growing/grown infant?
The uses of "reverberation, tides, embryonic stage" put me in mind of what the mother's heartbeat, his own heartbeat, and the muffled sounds of the outside world might be like for a child in the womb. The journey can be described in text, yet be beyond full comprehension and memory.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your entry in my contest! -
Awesome write here rae. very deep quality poetry at iots finest. love the sheer depth beauty & brawn placed forth into this spectactular poem. any ways very much enjoyed your write here & keep up the very good work
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