Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

[ When you're feeling somber and alone, ]

Beneath your pretty skin
you have aged in misery,
sadness has bruised your beauty,
honey no longer falls from lips.

When you're feeling somber and alone,
my love will radiate like the sun.
My rays filter through your soul,
together we shall rewind the time
and until you catch your winds;
I'll carry you upon my wings.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • hopelesspoet
    July 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is very good i am glad you entered it has helped good luck in the contest


  • SoftlyScreaming
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that took a realy turn for me.. from love to dissapointment.. i would've liked it to have been longer, but i got what you were going for.. thanks for entering, and good luck.


  • enitsirhC
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good!!
    I love how you took a different perspective than the other entrants; you made it about caring for someone else going through that pain.
    I love it

    Thanks so much for entering my contest!
    Good luck

  • bluelion
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love the beauty that is entwined in this poem excellent write

  • darkmindedfreak
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that is beautiful. i loved "sadness has bruised your beauty, honey no longer falls from lips" that was so unique. this gives off such a melancholy feeling and it also possesses sympathy. great write!


  • I will stand by you
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow great write. Looks like there is a story behind it. Keep up the great work


  • word20dragon
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    I get the feeling of three emotions comming through in this write. Happy,melloncoly,and sadness. Your images are bold and vivid keep up the writing.
    I am going to host a contest it's going to be a reading contest. A reading of all my work I am puting a poetry book together. Who ever gives me the title after reading all my work will get 800 gold. Also gold winner gets mention in my book for comming up with the title also gold winner will beable to give me 10 of there pest writes and I will give them a small section in the book. What do you think?


  • Amergin
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love it!


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great Write!

    Breathtaking! This is so beautiful and uplifting Thank you for sharing


  • Rashae
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love how this makes me feel, the imagery, the love the radiats from within its words!

  • imoutyo
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cheered me up while in a rather somber mood myself. a fine piece, full of beauty and truth

  • fairyzion
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Melancholly but full of faith.

    This poem has such a feeling of compassion from you. To be the "love that radiates like the sun" to someone so broken is beautiful. I love the resolution that nothing, even sorrow, is everlasting. Bravo.

  • Kalamina
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great length, i enjoyed the way that you wrote this, it was sad, but yet clearly depicted what some people feel sometimes in life. Great write!

  • emma7386
    May 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'Beneath your pretty skin you have aged in misery...Rise up from your knees' this is incredible imagery, so soothing and loving, to be the recipient of a love like this!

  • poetryartist08
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that was a nice writing


  • Ephiphany
    April 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    This is Real Talk Mack

    as always you've penned this at it's Best my friend.
    Keep doin you

    E


  • z etoile
    April 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    And yet another awesome poem.

  • Mariette Ferguson
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    good

    Desined to be another of your great sensual poems. Keep writing, keep expressing, You are well on the way to being a renouned, much sort after author.


  • Kelli Marie
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That is what I need. A love like that. Can it be bottled, your love? This is a great write. Love it.
    Kelli

1 - 19 of 19