Follow me yonder to far off lands
Take my hands
And follow me yonder
I'll lead you to a mystical place
Set the pace
And I'll lead you
Take a journey through oceans deep
Rest in sleep
And take a journey
Come with me up starry stairs
Breath the airs
And come with me
Beyond the shadows your oddysey ends
Make your amends
Beyond the shadows
A contest entry
- Title List by WarrioroftheHeart.
1750 points, ended April 21, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
do what you will
Comments
-
Thank you for your poem based on the title "Beyond the Shadows".
I have to say I find it hard to comment on this, I like it, it has a lyrical feel to it, but I found it difficult to focus on the story through the poem.
I actually found this to be a positive sort of poem, like you were asking someone to rest and shelter with you...love but not the romantic kind rather the kind that comes from friendship and companionship.
Thank you, it is a very nice read and I thought it came out well when recited, on a technical note; last stanza first line 'oddysey' should be 'odyssey'.
Good luck in the contest and in your future writing endeavours.
Adrian
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Thank you for entering
Your title is: "Beyond the Shadows"
Good luck
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