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confused

Dripping does the pain
Of my terrible wounds
Pouring through my mind
I cry in pain

I did this to myself
I say with tears
Hoping and preying
That somebody hears

Why can’t it be fare?
I was so damn close
Why did that have to be?
The path that I chose

What do you think in general? Improvements?

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Comments


  • mandikins
    April 8, 2008

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    Beautiful, as always your work is.
    Sad, very sad. I like the self evaluation thing you got goin on at the end of this piece. Something new?
    I love the 2nd and 3rd stansas are the best..but i like how in the 1st stansa you used a lot of metephors and describing words.

    Great Job! One of my favorites!!!

    <3 mandy