Memories of you surface as I drive through the rain
The thoughts of your lips touching mine make me smile
But the tears blur my vision and I can't see the train
I cross the tracks but never make it to my destination
Memories of you surface as I float through the night
The thoughts of your fleeing love cause me desperation
But blinding pain sears me and I don't want to fight
I just can't go on if we have another one tonight
Memories of you surface as I awake to a dark room
The thoughts of you coming back to me make it bright
But the realization hits me, nothing has changed
I whisper dont leave, even though I know its not right
Memories of you surface as your hatred is clear
The thoughts of your bittersweet love haunt me endlessly
But the torment of tainted love makes me want you near
I blink away the pain and pretend it doesnt matter to me
Comments
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This has the makings of a lovely, haunting poem. If I may, I would like to make a couple of suggestions? "desperation" is misspelled. The word "just" is used twice, too close together. And, your rhyming word in the last stanza is the same, "me" and "me." I love the feel of the poem, like floating all alone and never being able to separate yourself from that one person....Very nice read. Shancy.
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thank you
thank you for the comments. I think I have made the necessary corrections. Thanks for helping me out!
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this is so beautiful and sad...jeeze brought tears to my eyes (maybe that's cause i'm overly emotiontal right now) but amazing write..keep it up
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thanks
I just wrote this poem about 10 minutes ago... it just hit me.. thanks for reading.
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