Tide pulls sand from under my feet
as I walk leaving my prints on the shore.
felt like the sea was enticing me to join it.
As the tides ebbs from the shoreline.
my footprints disappear with each wave
crashing way out and riding into shore.
It washes away all evidence of life
taking it out to sea and beyond
strength and power of the ocean…
Author notes
Prompt EBB
A contest entry
- Ebb by Mirthryl.
1050 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Interesting idea, the enticement of the ocean to join it, as it "washes away all evidence of life." Almost a sense of a siren-song erasing your traces, then wanting to swallow you as well, within its hidden strength. Do you think it would work better or worse to add 'under' to the first line, "pull the sand from under my feet"? Only a thought.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your entry in my contest! -
beautiful! i love the ocean!
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This has beautifully captured a moment...well on the prompt too..All the best!
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