Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Divorce is not an Option

VERSE 1:
When I married you
you gave me a promise
written in religion
and a sweet liar kiss

CHORUS:
Give me back my wedding day
Just want you to go away
Your words are like water
Your heart is like fire
Your lie is our daughter
And our bed is our pyre

CHORUS 2:
We love like a battlefield
But I already surrendered
You take all your spoils
And all the pain you rendered

VERSE 2:
He leaves the house
When I come home at night
Your smile says hello
A husband's favorite slight

CHORUS:
Give me back my wedding day
Just want you to go away
Your words are like water
Your heart is like fire
Your lie is our daughter
And our bed is our pyre

BREAKDOWN
A whispered "I love you"
hurts more than our past
Why can't I leave you?
This will never last

CHORUS 2:
We love like a battlefield
But I already surrendered
You take all your spoils
And all the pain you rendered

CHORUS:
Give me back my wedding day
Just want you to go away
Your words are like water
Your heart is like fire
Your lie is our daughter
And our bed is our pyre

But I'd rather live in shattered dreams
'Cause letting go is harder than it seems

Author notes

I love the song Ringfinger, by NIN, and I thought that I'd write something loosely based off that. I looked at NIN lyrics for Ringfinger at:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nineinchnails/ringfinger.html

Also, I know that your contest said to write something that transcends lyrics...however...I find lyrics to be very powerful. The repetition alone makes the message fly home. that and I am partial to lyrics. But if you don't like, you can always DQ me (totally your choice) so I won't worry too much.

A contest entry

please tell me what to improve

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Lauren Noir
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    When I first saw that it was lyrics my face kind of fell, but reading it- it was well written.

    I saw every influence from the song, and that made it powerful, so it didn't really need to be in poem form. So I was impressed, yes indeed.

    the words; amazing

    Well done
    Good luck
    And thank you


  • twaintwine
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Painful

    The husband's favorite slight was a total zinger...this poem is filled with tough as nails (pun intended) emotions and images that bring the message of the chorus home...painfully.