It may not be considered beautiful:
thin stringy filaments covered in sauce,
dripping... but you imagine it falling upon your tongue
saliva slowly floods your mouth.
You can't help but to want it.
You are separated by utensils
so that it doesn't get all over your hands...
it crosses over itself, binded within its own depths--
protecting its innocence, leaving its flavor
untouched.
Your stomach demands its sustenance,
nothing else will do. Your taste buds ache
and refuse to respond to anything
but its saucy nutrition.
The temptresses of aroma flutter their lashes
flirting with your senses.
Your mind wonders to adulterous thoughts,
What you would give for just one taste...
What would it be like to reach in with both hands
and shove it all in your mouth?
You twirl the fork around noodles,
chopping them from one another, shortening your control
Until your body can't take it anymore
and you consume your inhibitions,
feeding the fires of lust.
Author notes
Ah.Sosha.
I have no words.... it is late... and it isn't even great. I like my other one much better.
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 10 (Top 4) by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended April 14, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I really like this. Spaghetti. Now that is original. I never would have thought I would ever read a poem about spaghetti - an allegorical one that is.
I thought this was really wordy, and rather careless. You had good ideas, but I do think with more effort you could have done a much better job.
As always, you have consistently had emotion - and that is excellent.
"Feeding the fires of your lust" - i love that line. Great ending.
I really do wish you would have been more careful with this though. Whether or not you really want to win this contest is now questionable, in my opinion. But...that could be a result of doubt? Not entirely sure what is going on, but this doesn't seem like the real you. I felt the emotion, but felt seriousness was missing because of how wordy it was. I'm not sure if I am making sense.
But what I am basically saying is that I really do think you could have done better with this particular poem, even though it is good.
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I feel bad, and I still want to win... I just couldn't figure out what to write and I was all stressed out. I had actually started this poem a while back and hadn't done with it... so it came in handy.
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eh. It's not as great as the other ones I've read from you, but I still think it's nice. I like the metaphors and theme here.
Don't worry... My poems suck and I was actually TRYING. 
~Cassie
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