I
striped red/white;
eyedeath ends bullied by wind
as it tips right
then left, right again.
Little hands hold tight as it fights
for freedom; idea of puddles
slipping across the surface.
Faith's fingers turn white in the struggle.
Dylan laughs, an escaped inmate
dancing in the rain. Cries
"let's play fish"
and dives into the wet day.
II
She plays with the ends of her hair, twisting
them into ropes that slap her face. Wet
from the burst of rain that greeted
as she walked home from school. She doesn't
ask for playthings or pink ribbons. Doesn't
want much of anything, really.
A smile here or there, a hug as she scurries
to and from school-- but there is
a question in her eyes as she stares
into the downfall that I haven't the heart
to answer; instead, hand
her the umbrella
and pray she becomes a little girl, again.
In a list
unfinished
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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"but there is
a question in her eyes as she stares
into the downfall that I haven't the heart
to answer;"
This is yet one more reason for me to be grateful that you are, indeed, a natural~born storyteller, Meli...Heart~wrenching, lovely & enigmatic, all the while remaining completely accessible to us, your readers, who sit agape in view of your immense talents...unfinished? I should hope so, my Friend...not this poem, but your diligence & grace in preserving moments worthy of the title "art". Hugs to you & yours, Sweetie.
~ Wanda
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This is great
Wow this is a very good write. Seems to me like this website is full of great writers. Well great job keep up the good work, and have an awesome day! -
I miss your story poems. It's been awhile. I do try to once in awhile, come to this site without signing on, to read some people's poetry, but you really haven't posted much. Then again, I think you've got your hands busy these days.
Ok, onto your unfinished poem. Well, you're right. It does feel unfinished. The first two stanzas didn't really do anything for me. I was trying to gauge what you were talking about and it was never really clarified. I felt a little disappointed because I wanted to know. So I think those two stanzas need rewording.
The rest though? Lovely. I like the carefree way you worded it. I think it reflected the nature of your children very well.
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I love the lighthearted feel of this..
I like how in the first stanza I can find bullseye even though it may not be intentional..it works so well with the colours of the umbrella..
Fun snippet, creative!
(ps - you should write more)
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Thank you.
Hopefully I'll be in the mood to start writing again, soon. Right now I'm just in the middle of mindless pursuits... and World of Warcraft.
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It's lovely to see you here. I adore the pieces that include your children. This is amazing as is; but I cannot wait til it's finished.
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