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Dreamscape

Sillhouettes
above my bed.
Entrancing
Sheep Jumping
Unable to count
Wide eyes
Stare blank
Up
To the Pop corn
Ceiling.
Making figures
from flakes.

Dancing
in my head
Twirling
Nothing said
Feeling
the dewed grass
upon my toes
In a place
you'll never know

Drifting
from conscienceness
Into sublime
Away from the world
Closer
Ever so closer
To Mine

Faeries flutter
Knomes menace
the flowers
pink and green
blue and purple
Swaying in the
aromatic wind
scents of love
Romance

This
my world
of wonder
My escape
from the norm
I sit upon this
neon
Shroom
Gazing up
to
the bright green
sky.

Relaxing
Enjoying
The Forest around me
Surroundings
Overly
Dramatic
Swirls in the sky
Poetry in the wind
Whispering
Lullabies

Through the forest
Past the trees
The mythical creatures
The winged beasts
Fly
In the open sky
In harmony
With the muse's
Music

Dancing
Singing
writing
The words so clear
The moon is setting
my time here
Is over
I lift to the sky
Flying
Over the trees
Over the love
Over the mystical
balads
of
lore

Into my window
Upon my bed
My eyes awake
The real world it calling
I have no choice but to answer
Stretching out my arms
pushing the covers away
Standing up
Slowly
Sighing
"So This is the life,
Of a Slave"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38

  • MissVonVicious
    November 13
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    I can see I'm not the only one

    But I love this poem
    I love how you broke afetr about every word or 2 to phrases sometimes.
    it's so beautiful
    (:
    I love it.
    has to def be one of your best
    <3


    • Poetic Obscenity
      November 13
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Hehe. Thank you very much for your comment. I haven't read this one in a long time. I've enjoyed re-reading it though. I'm ever so glad that you enjoyed it. =]

      It's so weird to look back so far. I remember I was on flvs when writing this!!


  • Intravenous Jesus
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    bomb as hell

    Yo, I really dig your style, and the words just captivating. You really conjured up the surreal surrounding of the mind unleashed in it's unconscious flight through eternity


  • iamthebeatles
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem, reminds me of some of my own. Similar content but different style. I love the neon shroom part, very psychedelic

    cassie


  • breedluv gold member
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm not a big fan of dirty pretty, but this is very well done.


  • Sesheta
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Enigmatic! Heart-pounding! My rhythm went a little irregular! Powerful form...words...images and messages...very intriguing, odd, unique...I love it!


  • drakostheron
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice work lots of imagery and imagination


  • peridotPixi
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the beautiful entry to my contest,
    I really love the wonderful dream you have used here in this great poem, I love the details the thoughts and the beautiful imaginary you have used I can see you sitting on a neon green mushroom, and the popcorn celing is a wonderful description, I like the flow of this poem it seems to be long but it works so wonderfully, this is my favorite part
    Drifting
    from consciousness
    Into sublime
    Away from the world
    Closer
    Ever so closer
    To Mine

    I think you have misspelled conscienceness it should be “consciousness”
    as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy


  • DazedAndConfused88
    July 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I dig it

    I loved the mystical imagery and the format used.
    I like how there's no real punctuation, so it kinda gives the feeling of flowing on and on, sort of dream-like in even it's format.


  • Mow
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lovely decription of this "dreamscape" which is a perfectly suiteing and unique title keep it up!!


  • HereComesTheSun
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fantastic write, has a fairytale look it were it talkes about mystical creatures and i love how you talk about waking up and such, great job and good luck


  • Darkwell
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    what a beautiful dream

    i felt like i was floating reading it


  • tothegrave
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good! I really enjoyed it. I love the imagery, you describe the dreamscape so well, it's so vivid and when reading this, I actually feel like I've been there before. I really especially enjoyed the format that you used here. I love the broken lines, it's always my favorite way to read and write poetry. I just don't write a lot of poetry this style because I'm not very good at keeping my sentences to just a few words. Sorry to ramble, but a very wonderful, brilliantly written poem. Great job!!!


  • Fallen-Phases
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lovely poem, a tad hodge podge in some places, but an excellent write nonetheless.


  • Lagrimas
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not quite

    Well it's over the line limit, and I also have to admit that I didn't read it all the way through. What I did notice from what I read though was that there was only one comma at the very end. And while the dream its self seemed interesting the format in which you were presenting it made it difficult to get through. I believe line breaks can be used in place of commas if you work it right. However, in this piece you break after ever three or four words without completeing a thought. Keep at it though, and if you like it as is then pish posh what I think, it's about what you think... well except for in this contest. Thank you for entering regardless.


  • Cyanide Milkshake
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, thanks for you comment on my poem thought i'd check out some of yours.
    I love this! Its such a flight of beautiful fancy. I like the form also, it sounds contemplative. Very pretty language! Going to check out more ^.^ x

    • Poetic Obscenity
      June 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      No problem sweetie.
      I'm glad you took the time.
      I'm honored you feel as such, especially after reading yours.
      I thank you. =]
      I do hope you enjoy those as well.

  • Darkwell
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OMG that was awesome!

    i love the way you drifted the words into dreams then wake up in a different reality ^.^ that totally rocked an your words play so great like "muses music" repeats mu an "sky flying" repeats the rhyme inside the rhyme o.o awesome!


  • kickstartchaos
    June 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is LONG but amazing. like really AMAZING


  • Nothing But No
    May 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You often say how talented I am ' in comparison' to you and within this piece you have proved that you are beyond compare. The imagery inside this piece is mind blowing. You have raw talent. It's pure and perfect, I wish I could hold my talent as obviously as you do.


    • Poetic Obscenity
      June 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, you're just silly. You're amazing. I just got lucky with this piece. I was having a good week.


  • Clinging-to-Life
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful hunnie. So true...we are slaves of this world and of life in general. we did not choose to live nor do we have the option really of ending it. Beautiful sweetheart.


  • Commonsuicide
    April 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice


  • pappacass
    April 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    AWESOME WRITE YOU HAVE WRITTEN

    loved this poem...a beautiful utopia for all to enjoy...places like this do exist...your mind can take you anywhere you wish


  • Incapable of Death
    April 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it sweetheart. I love your choice of word

1 - 38 of 38