It pierces my ears
When your voice shakes -
When you say those words to me.
Dread fills these deep blue eyes
And heartache, this chest of mine.
Please don't say it again;
I hate the way that good-bye sounds.
Just stay a little while longer,
Just enough to make the
pain stop
Forever.
How will I ever know if this is the
Last
good-bye?
Your impact on me you shall
never know
If you go-
So stay,
Just a little while longer,
Just enough to make this
pain stop
Forever.
Author notes
I used line breaks to help exaggerate some of the words that I felt were important. Line breaks and repetition
1. Prompt: "Hates the sound that good-byes make"
By: Jon Mclaughlin
A contest entry
- Prompt ..Choice... by Angelflower.
645 points, ended April 9, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Wow that just made me depressed
I just read teddy and then i read this and I'm all sad. I want to know who you're talking about and from what point of view. I guess this happens when I know you. I try to figure out what POV you're telling the story from and I can't seem to figure it out. Stupid knowing alex. grr.
Anyway, I liked it. packed with emotion as usual. You're so good at that
that's true talent right there! Keep up the good work!
Carli
-
wow! this poem is really..like...wow!u write with so much emotions u are really good.thank you for commenting on so many of my poems!!
-
This was really good. I really liked how you took the prompt.. It was really interesting and exciting... You did really good job.. I liked the emotion that you put into it..Great write..
Peace to you,
Jetleena
Adding your comment:
