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Poisoned by your venom.
Hammered into the ground with every step I take [backwards].
Ego murdered, on a daily basis.
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Author notes
Prompt: "My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes."
art credit: http://shierly85.deviantart.com/art/Hope-32211529
A contest entry
- Make Them Count by HeavenScent4U.
600 points, ended April 13, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
BE HONEST,,,, I will not be offended.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thats a really good little poem there; you managed to tell a powerful story in only twenty words, well done! I thought in particular the second stanza was interesting, you have used such a strong metaphor. Grea work!
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the picture set such a great mood for the poem. the poem was also great
-midgetbridgey -
Yep, I feel ya.. I have been there before. Like how you have structured this and the words really do work for that pic!!
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Wow, very powerful. The strong words and punctuated line breaks really communicate the emotion. I like how the art relates as well. Awesome :-)
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Well I have stood here before!! As an exbattered woman I can safely say that while I may have made it out my ego never did!!! Very powerful write you have penned!! And I love the form you have executed it in....
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i love the formatting and power in this. sadly it sounds like an abuse write
nicely done. thanks for entering and good luck. be well and be blessed
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Thank you for this contest and such inspiring prompts!
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you're very welcome
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i like your line formatting. it draws the reader smoothly from the first stanza to the third. you've summarized the slow drain that a person can be on one's psyche very well. the bluntness of the piece conveys the bludgeoning feel of being "hammered into the ground." as a side note i am not sure if "backwards" needs both brackets and bold. siting on its own line emphasizes it to begin with, but that's just me, visually it works very well.
good stuff!
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