What do I live for?
In truth happiness is my goal.
So how do I live?
With out a soul.
You ask these questions.
But What answer can I give?
I am getting to know myself.
What are you? Some one asks.
A heartless coward.
How do you live on with out a task?
Easy, in my world of nothingness.
You say these things but how do I reply.
I know myself.
For many years I suffered.
For many years I cried.
For lost things.
For people I loved who died.
But now I no longer cry.
So you may ask me why?
I met my self.
I know myself.
A contest entry
- i smoke and i drink and every time i think i have a tiny dream by Confetti Fairy-x.
800 points, ended April 22, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me now what you think.
Comments
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Good solid message, most of us spend a lifetime without really knowing ourselves. It's difficult to to wipe away that blind spot like steam on a mirror. I can feel the struggle and the last two lines are quietly triumphant.
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I love the way you wrote it. I'm proud of you little sister for getting your feelings out there. Much love my little demon princess
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this poem lacked imagery and originality, although the idea behind it was strong and i understand how you feel.
the rhyming seemed a bit forced, the punctuation was also not quite right, there should be a question mark after "how do i reply" and "you may ask me why?" should be "you may ask me "why?" " or "you may ask me why."
anyway, thanks for entering but i think this needs a bit of a personal tweak.
Con x
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