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Dear Mary




Erin has 47 friends on facebook – I wish she knew
I too remember this date.
Eight years ago,
she was less than half her age.

 

Winter has been long.
I have no pansies for you.



A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • apples fell
    May 28, 2008
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    Sometimes it is better to say nothing.
    So, nothing.

    ;


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    May 17, 2008
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    this is perfect...




    al

  • Bob Fox
    May 16, 2008

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    A tribute

    And a soft wonderful one. Sometimes the simplicity of the words can truly show the inner beauty of the writters heart I think. But then again I am a novice.


  • Cat
    May 15, 2008
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    beautiful piece... absolutely stunning.. i have some catching up to do..


  • ferg silver member
    May 7, 2008

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    This reads like a loving tribute to someone who is no longer with us. The economy of words is particularly effective here.

  • Virgoan
    April 15, 2008

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    excellent, a well deserved gold

    i like the sound of reminiscence. the soft touch of enigma is something that my thoughts will always think of.

    congrats

    HENSLEY


  • klassy lassy
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pansies and friends, open faced, tender. True colors. How we miss them when we can no longer take their presence for granted.

    Yes, gold. It's good to read you again.


  • NoIQ gold member
    April 14, 2008

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    I am not certain how I allowed this gem to slip past me, especially since I was aware of this contest. It justifiably received the gold shiny thing I see above.

    The poem is quite solemn. When I saw the title, I wondered if this was perhaps a tribute to Cat. Now, I have the sense it is a remembrance piece, and in particular a memorial.

    There is a particular resonance for me because Facebook is a client. I often forget the reason for its success is its ability to bring individuals together in more than a virtual sense -- and that there are emotional connections beyond the simple number of individuals listed as "friends." It also permits collective grief, among other emotional bonds. You do a fine job of using that bridge to reflect in a few short lines the importance of individual need.

    The last two lines are a supurb crux and window into the moving nature of the moment the poet is experiencing. A very fine poem Jan.


  • tara wilson gold member
    April 14, 2008

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    sad & very powerful....this poem brings tears......
    congrats


  • Elora Danon gold member
    April 14, 2008

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    Well worthy of the gold. A beautiful piece with echoes of time etched into it. Congratulations.

    e~


  • layla.
    April 14, 2008

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    how come i didn't notice this? this is so subtle. i love the last two lines. congrats


  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 9, 2008

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    No knowing if this poem was written with someone special in mind or not, still didn't make it feel less emotional.
    I really like how you ended it. Those last two lines give a feeling of longing, missing and waiting...waiting


  • cvillelisa
    April 9, 2008
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    I just love this.

    Lisa


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    April 8, 2008

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    this ....
    you know that thing that happens in your throat when something stings??

    this does that.

  • Suzanne Dia
    April 8, 2008
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    i'm so slow, ....i actually get this now.

    signed,

    nolongerclueless


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 8, 2008

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    I can only add my praise to this little note too. Yes, something so gently sad about this... somehow the reference to facebook made me think of my children (all 3 of them have accounts there) and when my daughter's boyfriend died they posted a whole memorial section for him there (see where you took my mind, jan).

    This one is deep and meaningful and one does not need to know all the details behind this...just that it works. Beautiful poetry.

    Thank you for your entry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 8, 2008
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  • Rowan gold member
    April 8, 2008

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    Oh, I don't know what to say. This is perfect.
    Sad, but without going into the why's and boo-hoos.
    Just enough said, to get the gist of this. Brilliant.

    and yes, Suzeanne's right, this feels like a poem to hug.

  • Suzanne Dia
    April 8, 2008

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    Feels like this poem illicits that..



    YDK - don't forget it.


  • Heart Sutra
    April 8, 2008

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    There is something about this piece that allows the reader to feel both the intimacy and the mystery without feeling the need to change anything about it. Excellent writing...clearly something of loss and the somberness of it all is lingering beneath the surface.


  • Namita
    April 7, 2008

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    Excellent writing indeed. I can feel this. Powerful and so heartfelt. Good luck in the contest. Such a beautiful write.

    - namita

  • grm
    April 7, 2008

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    i don't know the histories behind this piece, but its somber emotional tones come through very clearly.
    so much so, that one can intuit what is being said and felt.

    simply excellent writing

    thanks for entering

1 - 25 of 25