Our Reality

Here I am
Begging with my silence,
Hoping with my feigned disinterest,
Wanting with my distance,
Signaling with nothing,
And you just sit there
Beside me,
Accidentally brushing your leg against mine,
Unaware and yet deliberate,
Knowing and withholding…
Not that I could handle it otherwise.
Constant reminders of what has been
Flit through my mind
As you nonchalantly hint at them.
I try to change the subject,
To make you forget what you want to relive,
Hide the night’s distant shadows beneath words,
And forget our shared desires between breaths.
Quickly my brain snaps back to reality
And it chases the longing away
As it does so often.
It’s not just one reality, it’s just too many,
Too many of our realities
Identical to those
You share not with me…
And I pull back
And you pull me
So, here I sit,
Torn
Between what is and what is