[x.You.Still.Lied.Darling.x]

[I still remember.]

Your face used to be carved into
    Every mountain.
I used to [hallucinate]
          Your presence;
You were right next to me,
Your sarcasm sticking to me like
    Velcro.

That was when I was afraid to
  Love you
And too naiive to let you
  Go.

And I used to write sad poetry about you,
How your infidelities
Forced me to
                            Cry on sunny days; and cut on rainy ones.
Pain never came to me until
[Those days.]
    But when you were the
Pain; I was willing to put myself
Though it, and endure the needles
Protruding from your hand.
  I would still hold it.
[I just made sure I didn’t get any blood on you.]

That was just too far.
    The other girls wanted you so bad
But you were mine.
[Or so I thought...]
When I was walking with you;
Hugging you, loving you,
You seemed so whole, like an
        Impassable wall;
You were [there] but I could only see
Half of you.

And your other half seemed not so
Faithful, not so whole,
    As [my] half of you did.
Your actions would call to me.
[After all actions speak louder than words.]
    And your words were yelling to me.
But I chose not to hear them.
And look where it got me.

I carved lines into my arm
    [Blaming it on anything but you.]
I thought if you saw my pain
  Then you would stop
Other girls didn’t have feelings;
Or atleast I wish you would think that.
        I wanted you to want me.

Your arms were so strong feeling,
  I wished I could have you hold me
Forever.
But nothing is forever.
  Even love.
You proved to me that my father was right
When he told me
    [There’s no such thing as love.]
And both of you promised me your
Honesty, but
      x.You.still.lied.darling.x
Those other girls weren’t
Hallucinations.

I don’t know what I fell in love with
Those [long] five months.
EDIT: I don’t know why I’m [still]
In love with you.
I fell upon the floor
            And you walked away from me
As if you didn’t even
        Know my name.
My trustworthy razor blade
Was the only creature to listen to me.
I confided the world in it that night,
  With you never to hear what I said,
And you never there to help me clear up the blood
  Trailing down my
Arm.
          Cutting hurt in ways
You couldn’t show me.

[But the pain somehow filled the void you left.]

When I heard that you were
    “Doing stuff” with the
Other girls from school,
You know the whorish ones;
I couldn’t eat
                      I couldn’t sleep.
The words seemed to
  Pierce
Right through me.
        But something odd happened.
Something not quite right.
Darling, [baby],

I missed you.

And I wasn’t about to let you go.

[And the funny thing is, in the end, it was me who dumped you. Apparently there was no guilt. Just please, tell me why you never left.]