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Bittersweet

Close the eyes of sorrow
and hear what she has to say;
her only crime was love
but love only lasts so long

He found another to replace her
and left her by herself with
furtive lies in disguise,
but she wistfully waited
in the field of bittersweets

He never came for her
and she died all alone,
but you can hear her sing
like a bird in the spring
in the wind near those flowers

Now a sad love story
that wasn't meant to be
and all that's left
is the inspiration of the
indigo flowers

Author notes

Your Prompt is: INDIGO
FREE VERSE: No "traditional rhyme"
Poetic Device: Solid Metaphor

(I'm not sure if anyone got the connection between the 'field of bittersweets' and 'indigo flowers'. I felt the indigo was a bittersweet color because it was such a pretty color but it seemed kind of depressing at the same time)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • thepoetsings
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Really liked the first two lines:

    "Close the eyes of sorrow
    and hear what she has to say"


  • Shadow Stalker
    April 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    Poem, you did a great job. I really like it. You did a great job.

    ~Night Mistress~


  • I will stand by you
    April 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write. Keep it up.


  • Frozentearz
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your award another wonderful round
    within this contest
    Blessings,
    Frozentearz


  • paulcreates silver member
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Blues over a lost love...this is a sensitive write in keeping with the theme of the prompt. Congratulations on the Silver and good luck in the next round!
    "..and all that's left
    is the inspiration of the
    indigo flowers..."

    Paul


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So well worth the wait. You have done a lovely job with metaphor to this prompt. Well done. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have successfully used blue as sadness without falling to cliche. Well done!

    I will comment here one form, which is rare for me:

    I would have read your first line better as - close sorrow's eyes.

    and your line break between lines 6 and 7 was distracting.

    however, I feel your efforts score high an commend your entry.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This touches a chord right now...
    Indigo is truly the shade of our deepest
    emotions and you paint the tragedy of love
    unreturned in dark blue strokes. I especially
    liked "but she wistfully waited
    in the field of bittersweets". Blue

1 - 8 of 8