From awkward angle
your dimension rescues me
Below your finite graces
I am ambiguously trapped
This mental state of pursuit
left me well traveled
Affluent in Old Persian
hence the accent of Median speech
Well-versed in Italian
(desidero adorarlo)
But not enough could be spoken
to slide these hands closer
towards your hierarchy
Congruent instincts warn me
that with visitation
to your waistline,
although torus in structure,
I will free fall from the edge
Author notes
rewrite
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"visitation to your waistline"...amazingly worded
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Intriguing write ...
and I like it, but you might want to fix line one. It's awkward, not akward.
Good job, all in all.
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thanks, how awkward of me
fifthgrade spelling champ and all....thanks again
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I am like you, I wouldn't know prose if it slapped me in the face, but this writing is very different from your usual style that I am familiar with to this point. I wouldn't have recognized it as yours, it is not as spur of the moment and the word 'rewrite' in author notes may be the reason....
I like the thought of being well traveled through mental state of pursuit...This is a well polished and well traveled piece..
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I enjoyed this poem very much.
you should really give prose a whirl, this is very close
to being contemporary prose.
loved it, very well done!
ears/Seattle. Loved that last line!
many lines to enjoy!
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i have no clue what prose really is
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visit an art museum lately? is there personal truth to the things you write?
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