it’s about passion
& lack of
oh Romeo…
wherefore art thou…
Romeo??
he’s buckled under -
an oxycontin stain
pasted on sheets
wet & stinkin' of sweat
[sexless]
& she bounces
wall-to-wall -
empathetic to angry
a rag doll
seams a-poppin’
talkin' to herself
ugly stuffin'
about to burst
from her sewn-shut
mouth
& thousand-year-old
vagina
Author notes
it's tough having a spouse on pain medication... for many reasons
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I am wondering what impact the final two liens were meant to have.... I realize the drug inferences of a spouse, but then the thousand year threw me.... it is both interesting and ok and yet almost as if it were thrown in ... thank you for entering..one day I will learn to say.
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Wow! This has to be the most powerful thing I have read in a long time. I can relate to this some what having been on oxycontin for several years, not the best years of my life for sure. A very raw and intense poem, I am stunned!! Much enjoyed read, good luck in the contest
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Holy Mummified Womb, Batman!
That thousand year vagina line is just beyond disturbing. Who is this, Queen Nefeteri or something? Crap, that's just wedged in my head like a railroad spike thrown from an industrial wood chipper...I'm like, gonna totally SUE you for freaking me out for LIFE!! I'm serious, this is for REAL...I'm messed up! -
Powerful, bold and fearless
WOW! This was a piercing-open your eyes wide poem!
Applaud-Applaud-Applaud!
The State of WA. just sued the makers of Oxycontin for
misleading our physicians that it's effects were not
as addictive and so full of side effects as their
labels preach. Millions of dollars won!
I loved this poem! Raw, powerful, bold and fearless!
ears/Seattle. GREAT JOB!
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mmm
very powerful and emotive
but ewwww yuk -
I can't imagine. I'd go crazy.
"Wherefore" = "why."
I think you really want to know where, not why.
I liked the abruptness. It punctuates the frustration.
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BANG BANG! You really know how to get the reader's attention. I was wondering where you were going at first, then I read:
"he’s buckled under -
an oxycontin stain
pasted on sheets
wet & stinking of sweat"
You had me from there on. This is powerful poetry. I loved the abrupt ending; I think they should always feel like a punch in the stomach, they need to linger - and you definitely pulled it off.
Fantastic stuff
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it's quite the interesting piece
but i think it ends a tad abruptly
i don't know if you were aiming for that or not though
however this piece gives a nice bit of imagery
enough so you can get a good feel for what's going on
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