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if tomorrow never comes. (where were you?)

what if tomorrow never comes?
if life leaves you cold,
promises left unfulfilled,
every one else goes on to rebuild,

 

you never were around.

where were you all those nights?

where were you to chase away the nightmares?

where were you when i cried?

 

when i blew out my candles,

when i graduated from school,

where were you just yesterday?

did i just not fit into your schedule?

 

all those promises and all those lies,

you've come to be the one i despise,

if tomorrow never comes,

i wont be the one to grieve.

 

it's over and i'm done,

loving you was like hitting a brick wall at a run,

stupid and senseless, it left me hurt and scarred,

did i mess it up? did i try too hard?

 

if tomorrow never comes,

i just wanted to let you know,

i never stopped loving you i just stopped letting it show,

and maybe i'm better off alone.

Author notes

to my father and mother, whom i owe my life to and without which i would have nothing to write about. thank you for filling me with regret and low self-esteem.

honest oppinions please and thank you.

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Comments


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "did i just not fit into your schedule?" That is a particularly strong line, and even though it's rather obvious who this poem is aimed at (at least, I'm pretty sure it's either parent), this line makes the message clearer I think.

    "loving you was like hitting a brick wall at a run,
    stupid and senseless," I love this line, not only because it has a simile (like hitting a brick wall) but because you go on, you elaborate on that point by saying "stupid and senseless". It's perfect in my opinion.

    This is definitely the strongest and best part of the piece: "if tomorrow never comes,
    i just wanted to let you know,
    i never stopped loving you i just stopped letting it show,
    and maybe i'm better off alone."
    It isn't cliché to me, however it's probably close to it.
    Brilliant work overall though!

    Another thing, maybe watch your grammar a little. Capital letters and all that.