Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Frozen/Walk by

PART ONE


Frozen
Frozen

Can't keep going
Little mole heart beating
fleeting

Frozen
Frozen

Penetrating
Warm fur
Little heart

Frozen
Frozen

Little heart stops beating
Icicles forming
Not warming

Frozen
Frozen




PART TWO



Breath
forming crystals
in the air

Walking by
a little mole
crystals on its fur

Should I
Could I
Help this poor creature
In its Life
or Death?

But I
I walked on by

Should I have?
Could I have?

Author notes

PS. A mole is an animal

A contest entry

Did this cause any emotion?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • liduen silver member
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    Cooliosoness! (how do you spell it? How do you spell a word that is not a word???) Anywhos...this deffinatly causes an emotion! I like the 2 different perspectives. The repetition is cool too. I like the stanza "should I, Could I, Help this poor creature, In its Life, or Death?" The slash in the title is a bit strange...maybe you should call it something like "Though Frozed I Walk by" I don't know...thats a bit strange...hmmm...Just a thought!


  • frownsnfreckles
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    awww this is a very sweet poem and a lovely kindly thought. However I expect the mole is equipped for life in all seasons but its great that you took the time to stop and consider such a tiny creature who, as you say, is so easily overlooked


  • I will stand by you
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great write. There are so many that will walk on by when they see something hurting. what a pity. I think its time people start reaching out.