Waiting for the right time to say how I feel
Desperately trying to be myself
Finally coming to this conclusion:
Any time is the right time
I finally decide to tell my family
No idea how they'll react
Will they still love me?
Or even have any feelings for me left?
"It's against God
It's against our faith
I'm not okay with that lifestyle
But I love you whatever your decision"
So I tell a few of my closest friends
Maybe I'll get someone I can actually talk to
They look at me as though I've made a decision to be bisexual
As though I chose this life
No one really understands me
They all think it's a choice that I've made
Do they really think I'd choose to be different?
Why does this change my relationip with my friends?
It is seldom that I meet a person
Who just sees me as me anymore
Everyone asks me if I've decided to be strait again...
They don't understand that I never was
Everyone always asks me what's on my mind
Yet when I mention the girl I love
They look at me like
"Why are you telling me this?"
Make up your mind:
Do you consider me a friend anymore?
How can you destroy a friendship
Based on something that I decided to trust you with
Me coming out to you was me trusting you
Not me trying you hurt you
If you don't want to know me anymore
So be it... I'm not changing who I am.
Author notes
Just a thought...
A contest entry
- Gay Pride/Relationships/Love/ Anything by MrsJones.
450 points, ended April 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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So heartfelt and very true here, just from the heart words from you, the thing you want to say and you want them to understand that somehow, for who you really are, they need it accept it, if they are your friends...
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ya but the people who i wrote this about have gotten over themselves anyway...
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Jennifer, Im sorry if I acted stupid when you told me. I know it was hard for you tell that and I know that I didnt really make things easy for you. Gosh, I feel like such an idiot. Im really sorry for acting like that.
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Don't worry about it, Ash-lay!!!
I wasn't exactly talking about you... and I get it, you dont like that kind of thing... But ya it did kinda hurt that you didnt react the way i would have liked, but i cant expect you to change your opinions about things any more then I would like it if you asked me to change.
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Okay Jennifer...but i really am sorry about the way that i acted. i feel like a stupid idiot. i really honestly could have handled that better. one of my best friends told me that she was bi and i took it fine, but i really honestly dont know why i couldnt handle it with you. i guess it was because i have known you for so long. i guess it was because she has been hurt so many times by girls, and i just dont want that to happen to you.
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Ya, i know ashley. and either way, if you love someone, there is a huge chance that that person will hurt you. and your probably right... i mean, weve known each other forever... thats probably all it was. And trust me, Ive had my share of heartache, but not exactly for the obvious reasons... i can get past all that. dont worry about me, ashley... im fine!!!
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Jennifer...when you tell me not to worry about you, that just makes me worry more. haha. but okay...i just dont want you to leave me out of your life, thats all.
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I wont leave you out... you know that. and theres not really much to worry about right now... nothing is happing in the relationship department as of lately... except that whole thing with alicia trying to set me up with bob... but thats not gonna happen because he's too quiet and would never ask me and i dont see myself asking him... either way, i probably SHOULD go out with someone... get my mind off of... a certain girl... anyway, ya. nothing to worry about!!!
Jenn
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haha yeah...bob is...yeah
anyway, we need to hang out sometime over the summer!im gonna miss you and cassie super mucho! -
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I'll miss you too ashley!!!!!!!!
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Awesome write, and something I know a lot of people experience in their daily lived with family and friends. Its hard to make people understand that people don't wake up in the morning and think, hey! lets make my life 10x harder than it has to be and to top it off lets get ridiculed for it. Doesn't make sense to me. Thanks for entering!
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thanks.... ya thats how they seem to think. like someone would choose to make so many people hate them for something that they can choose... thats just plain stupid!
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