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Kindel.


In between going and staying.
The day wavers in lovers day dreaming.
Within it's own transparency
the heat of the early afternoon is now at bay.
All is still visible and all elusive.
What is near and can't be touched.
Time is throbbing in my temples.
The blood repeats the same unchanging beat.
I find myself in between going and staying.
The moment scatters,
I am motionless.
There is no other move to make.
I'm at a pause, my love.

Audrey Evans
7/28/2005

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great. thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
    ..<3..
    Shelly


  • Dorick
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I dunno, the writing is good, but the creativity a-lack in my opinion. Who hasn't felt this before? It all sums up in one statement, "I'm bored with you"


    • AudreyEvans
      June 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm not sure if I have responded to your comment yet, but fuck it...
      So you think that I'm common.. That's cool, because the looks of your lame pict your the one suffering from the hopes and dreams of being a cheep knock off of Trent Reznor.. Oh, which is a rip off of Skinny Puppy..
      God.. When will they learn to find their own niche not someone elses?
      Oh well I guess creativity is dead....

      Audrey Evans
      aka Rubyvaroom
      just another stupid poet...


  • loving.a.soldier
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good! I am loving the imagery with this. Very nice write. Keep it up!!

    The One and Only...

    ~Lynn Jones


  • Tigris
    June 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this idea that a blink is the in between. Thank you for your entry.


  • Midgetbridgey
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like it but I am a bit confused of what your overall theme of the poem is. The beginning is absolutely beautiful and i love! how you phrase it. You are definitely an eloquent writer.
    Keep writing! and comment me
    Thanks!!
    -midgetbridgey


  • BlackSwan
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful, absolutely detailed and descriptive

    -thank you for your entry

    • AudreyEvans
      May 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Re:Kindel

      No, no, no! I thank you for hosting your contest which makes it possible for my p.w.'s to see the light of day.
      Audrey Evans

1 - 9 of 9